Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrate the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

There is a percentage of different age groups in the bar.Man and women with the age group 15 to 24 doing their regular physical activity more then 50 percent ,men percentage is 52.8 and women is 47.7 .

Men and women with age groups 25 to 34 doing regular physical activity with the percentage men 42.2 and women 48.9.

Furthermore ,with the age group 35 to 44 the pecentage the men doing regular activity about 39.5 and women 52.5 .

with the pasage of time the percentage of peoples doing physical activity increses .

with the age group 45 to 54 the percentage increases the men value gradully decrease 43.1 but women percentage increase about 53.3.

with the age group 55 to 64 the pecentage of men still decrease about 45.1 and women pecentage still constant about 53.

with the age group 65 and over the both pecentage slightly difference men about 46.7 and women 47.1 still increases .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You report several figures accurately, including 52.8% for men and 47.7% for women aged 15–24, and the values for the other age groups are mostly represented correctly. However, the response gives no clear overview of the main patterns, which is central to summarising a chart. The statement that activity “increases” over time is too broad and inaccurate: male participation falls to 39.5% before rising, while female participation rises to a peak and then declines. The description also says men “still decrease” from 45–54 to 55–64, although their rate rises from 43.1% to 45.1%. Select the overall contrasts and trends, then support them with key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the age groups in chart order, so readers can locate the figures, and “Furthermore” and “with the age group” attempt to connect points. However, ideas are not arranged into a clear summary: there is no distinct overview, and the repeated sentence openings make the account feel like a list rather than a progression. Some links also create confusion, especially “with the passage of time” before a claim that does not accurately describe the trends. Use a brief introduction, an overview of the main patterns, and then grouped comparisons—for example, the male and female figures across the middle age groups. Clearer paragraphing and more precise transitions would improve the organisation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subject and report basic comparisons, using terms such as “percentage,” “age group,” “increases,” and “decrease.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, including “doing regular physical activity” and “the percentage of peoples doing physical activity.” Spelling errors such as “pecentage,” “increses,” and “gradully” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the report. Some word combinations are also unnatural, such as “with the passage of time” for describing age-group data. Aim for concise chart language and check spelling carefully; alternatives such as “participation rate” and “rose” can make comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate the chart’s topic and many figures through simple sentence patterns, but grammatical control is inconsistent. The opening has a subject–verb agreement error: “The bar chart illustrate” should be “The bar chart illustrates.” Several later clauses are incomplete or awkwardly joined, such as “Furthermore, with the age group 35 to 44 the pecentage…” and “with the age group 65 and over the both pecentage…”. Articles and number forms are also problematic in “the both percentage,” while tense and verb patterns are not consistently controlled. Most sentences rely on similar basic structures. Practise complete comparative sentences, such as “Among those aged 35–44, the figure was 39.5% for men, compared with 52.5% for women,” and punctuate each sentence clearly.

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