Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrate the percentage of Australian men and women in multiple age groups who did physical activity in 2010.

First compare men 52.8% men doing daily activity between 15 to 24 year old . And the other hand 25 to 34 year age male doing 42.2 percent . The age between 35 to 44 male age doing 39.5%. Then percentage little bit rise to 43.1% on 45 to 54 male and the other side 55 to 64 age males percentage 45.1 and the last 65 and over are 46.7.

As compare to men women did more activity n 2010 starting with the age of 15 to 24 the percentage is 47.7. and other hand 25 to 34 ages percentage up 48.9and 35 to 44 ages percentage 52.5% and 45 to 54 is 53.3

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You report several accurate male figures, including 52.8% for ages 15–24 and the low of 39.5% for ages 35–44, and you note that women were more active in several groups. However, the response is incomplete: it stops after the female figure for ages 45–54, omitting the 55–64 and 65-and-over data, and it gives no clear overview of the main pattern. In fact, men lead only in the youngest group, while women lead in all the others; the female rate peaks at 53.3% before falling. The response also contains 127 words, below the required 150, which limits its coverage. Add an overview and complete the key comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the information by discussing men first and women second, and the figures generally follow the age groups in order. This gives the reader some sense of progression. However, the response has no distinct overview and the paragraphing does not clearly separate an introduction, main trends and supporting details. Linking phrases such as “First compare,” “And the other hand” and “As compare to men” are awkward or unclear, so relationships between points are not consistently easy to follow. The final female figures are also left without a concluding comparison. Use a clear overview paragraph, then group the details logically, with accurate links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subject and report percentages, using terms such as “percentage,” “age groups” and “rise.” The meaning is usually recoverable, but the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise. For example, “doing daily activity” does not accurately describe regular physical activity, and “the other side” is not a natural way to introduce a comparison. “Little bit rise” is also informal and awkward for an academic summary. Aim for precise chart language and varied comparison phrases, such as “the proportion who exercised regularly,” “in contrast,” and “increased gradually.” Check spacing and forms too, as in “48.9and.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and attempts to report a sequence of figures, but grammatical control is inconsistent and sentence structures are very limited. The opening, “The bar chart illustrate,” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “First compare men 52.8% men doing…” lacks a clear sentence structure. Other examples include “the age between 35 to 44 male age doing” and “the percentage is 47.7,” where articles, prepositions and sentence construction need attention. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, particularly at sentence beginnings. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example: “The proportion of men fell to 39.5% among those aged 35–44.”

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