Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The data displays the ammount of percentage in australia men and women individuals age group regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall,it clear that the amoung the given ages,Male are 15 to 24 had the maximum percentage regular physical activity,while,in 45 to 54 percangate Female are regular pysical activity in 2010.There was change in the proportion of men and womne regular physical activity.

In female we can see here 35 to 54 year women are upto 52% to 53.3% regular activity in 2010, and also here male are similarly upto 39.5 % to 45.1 % ages also like physical activity and they are dicrese by the women.Also,there are 25 to 34 year ages woman ar highly increase by male.

By contrast,here 15 too 24 ages male are highly increase by woman and here upto 55 increase by women.And also 65 and over female are just 0.4% increase by male in regular physical activity in 2010

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and make a basic attempt to summarise comparisons, including the high female figures around ages 35–64 and the small difference among people aged 65 and over. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: men’s highest rate is for ages 15–24, but women’s peak is at 45–54, not simply the age range stated. Several comparisons are also difficult to interpret, such as “upto 55 increase by women,” and the account omits the broad pattern that women exceed men in every group except 15–24. Select the main trends accurately, then support them with clear, correctly expressed figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening, an overview, and further comparisons, and phrases such as “Overall” and “By contrast” show awareness of linking. Nevertheless, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview and body do not clearly separate the main trends from individual comparisons. Some links are inaccurate or unclear, including “they are dicrese by the women” and “Also, there are 25 to 34 year ages woman ar highly increase by male.” Pronoun references such as “they” and “here” do not reliably identify the group being discussed. Use one paragraph for the overview and group the detailed comparisons logically, with explicit references to men, women, and age groups.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “percentage,” “age group,” “regular physical activity,” and “By contrast,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems strain understanding: “ammount,” “percangate,” “pysical,” “dicrese,” and “womne.” Phrases such as “amount of percentage” and “highly increase by male” are not natural ways to describe chart data. Build a more precise range for reporting figures and trends, for example “proportion,” “participation rate,” “rose,” “fell,” and “was higher than.” Check spelling and collocations carefully so the intended comparisons are clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic comparison structures, but grammatical control is very limited, and frequent errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For example, “Overall,it clear that the amoung the given ages,Male are 15 to 24 had” has problems with the verb, word order, and sentence structure. In “35 to 54 year women are upto 52% to 53.3%,” the age phrase and clause are not formed clearly, while “65 and over female are just 0.4% increase” has agreement and comparison-pattern errors. Punctuation spacing and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. Practise accurate simple sentences first, such as “Women’s rate was higher than men’s in five age groups,” then add more complex comparisons.

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