Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the bar chart illustrate the percentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did physical exercises in 2010.

overall, the chart shows the percentage of men and women in 2010 average of women should do more physical activities rathier then men in 2010.

in 15 to 24 age individuals should have much percentage in physical activities if we can talk about 25 age to 54 age there is a huge diverse between them because the men percentage should drop to 42.2% to 43.1% and the women percentage should high up to 53.3% there is a huge difference between them its means women should do more physical activities then men. and if we can talk about the 55 to 65 age groups in 55 to 64 age individuals men has 45.1 percentage and women has 53 percentage in 2010 australian women should have more physical activities then men and the last one 65+ ages peoples has the minor point gape so i give them same percentages.

overall, the percentages shows the fluctuated across the age groups.the first group 15 to 24 create the highest record and the contrast the lowest group respectively for the 35 to 44 and 65 over age groups.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and make a relevant attempt to compare the sexes across age groups. Some figures are accurate, including 42.2% for men aged 25–34, 43.1% for men aged 45–54, and 53% for women aged 55–64. However, the main features are not reported reliably: the male figure falls to 39.5% at ages 35–44 before rising, while the female figure peaks at 53.3% at ages 45–54; these patterns are not clearly explained. The claim that the 65-and-over groups have “same percentages” is inaccurate (46.7% and 47.1%), and the final overview incorrectly calls 35–44 and 65+ the lowest groups. Select the key trends and compare them accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to provide an opening, an overview and comparisons by age, so the response has some recognisable organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are packed into one long paragraph, and the overview is repeated at the end without clarifying the main trends. Phrases such as “if we can talk about” recur mechanically, while references like “the last one” make the age group being discussed less precise. The comparisons also jump between age ranges, and the relationship between the figures and the conclusions is sometimes unclear. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and grouped comparisons, and connect each comparison directly to the relevant age group and data.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age groups,” “difference,” and “fluctuated,” which helps communicate the general topic. However, the range is basic and several inaccurate or informal expressions make the report harder to understand. For example, “huge diverse” does not express a difference clearly, “high up” is not a suitable way to describe a rising figure, and “minor point gape” is unclear. There are also repeated phrases such as “physical activities” and “if we can talk about,” and spelling errors including “rathier” and “peoples.” Choose precise terms for trends and comparisons, such as “declined,” “peaked,” and “slightly higher,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and comparisons, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure the intended meaning. For example, “the bar chart illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the percentage … average of women should do” is not a complete or clear grammatical construction. Tense and verb forms are also unreliable in “men percentage should drop” and “women percentage should high up.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are often missing, especially in the long middle section, which joins several ideas with “and.” Use straightforward present-tense reporting structures, such as “The proportion of men fell,” and divide comparisons into complete sentences with accurate agreement and punctuation.

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