Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The chat illustrate consistent physical activity performed by different age groups of australian men and women in 2010.

Overall, the participation of younger men is higher, as it gradually decreases across age groups. But that is not the case with women, we can observe a steady rise across the age groups. Interestingly, both men and women of age group 65 and over approximately shows similar interest in training.

We can see a steady decline of men consistenly showing up for training. From the age group of 25 to 64, there are fluctuation in regular physical acitivity varying around 40% to 45%. But this is not the case with men within the age group of 15-24 who beats women in consistency.

We can see that women from the age group of 15 to 64 shows a positive trend in regular physical acitivity which shows thier interest in self-care. The age group with maximum number of consistent participation in activity is 45 to 54, decipting a great difference in consistency of physical activity between men and women.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main contrast: men have their highest participation in the youngest group, while women generally record higher rates in the middle age groups. The overview also notes that the figures for people aged 65 and over are similar. However, some descriptions do not accurately capture the data. Men do not decline steadily: their rate falls from 52.8% to 39.5% by ages 35–44, then rises to 46.7%. Women rise only to ages 45–54, before falling to 47.1% in the oldest group. The claim that women show a positive trend from 15 to 64 overlooks this final decline, and the largest gender gap is not clearly identified. Select and report the key changes more precisely, with supporting figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and separate discussion of men and women. This helps the reader follow the broad comparison. However, progression within the body paragraphs is limited: the account often repeats general claims such as “steady decline” and “positive trend” rather than moving systematically through the age groups and their figures. Some linking is also awkward, particularly “But that is not the case with women, we can observe…”, which joins two independent clauses with only a comma. The repeated opening “We can see” makes the organisation feel mechanical. A clearer sequence—overview, then male pattern, then female pattern with direct comparisons—would make the information easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing the chart, including “participation,” “steady rise,” “fluctuation” and “maximum.” This gives you a basic range for reporting trends. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for an academic data summary. “Interest in training” and “interest in self-care” infer motivation that the chart does not show, while “beats women in consistency” is not an appropriate way to compare percentages. “Consistent physical activity performed” is also an awkward description of the measure. Spelling errors such as “acitivity,” “thier” and “decipting” further reduce accuracy. Use neutral terms such as “proportion,” “rate” and “participation,” and describe what the figures show rather than speculating about reasons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “But that is not the case with women” and a relative clause in “the age group with maximum number…”. However, errors in agreement and sentence construction are frequent enough to make parts of the report less clear. For example, “the chat illustrate” needs a singular verb, and “both men and women … approximately shows” has a plural subject but a singular verb. “There are fluctuation” also needs a plural noun, while “women … shows” should use a plural verb. The sentence beginning “But that is not the case with women” is joined to the next clause by a comma splice. Check subject–verb agreement and divide or correctly connect clauses.

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