Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar charts illustrate the proportion of both men and women categorized into different age groups performing regular fitness activities in 2010.

Overall, females have dominated the fitness industry throughout the periode except the males aged from 15 to 24. Meanwhile both men and women aged 65 and above were almost same.

Starting with the age group 15 to 25 males dominated by 52.8% while womens were also considerabley great reaching 47.7%. The stats shifted completely for age group 25 to 34 where females took over by percentage of 6.7%. The number of females taking part in fitness activities got even higher for the age group 35 to 44 reaching 52.5% making the highest number .

Moving on to the next age group of both 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 showed similar pattern of womens leading the percentage. People of aged 65 and over showed similar proportions with just a difference of 0.4%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad pattern that women recorded higher activity rates in most age groups, while men led among the youngest adults, and you note the near-equal figures for those aged 65 and over. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: the first group is 15–24, not “15 to 25,” and the female advantage at 25–34 is 6.7 percentage points, rather than a clearly stated female rate or comparison. The overview’s claim that women “dominated the fitness industry” is also too broad for a chart about activity rates. Include the main figures for the middle and older groups and describe the male trend, which falls before rising again, to make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs that move through the age groups. Sequencing phrases such as “Starting with” and “Moving on” help the reader follow the chart, and the main comparison between men and women is generally easy to trace. To make the progression more effective, group related age bands and compare both sexes within each group rather than listing the groups in a somewhat loose sequence. Some links are mechanical, and “Meanwhile” does not clearly connect the two overview points. The final paragraph also ends abruptly without a concluding comparison. More precise referencing and smoother links between comparisons would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related language, including “proportion,” “age group,” “reaching,” and “similar proportions,” so the chart’s subject is generally clear. However, several choices are inaccurate or too informal for an academic summary: “dominated the fitness industry” overstates what the data show, while “stats” and “took over” are conversational. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “periode,” “womens,” and “considerabley.” Prefer precise terms such as “participation rate,” “percentage-point difference,” and “was higher than.” Check spelling and use consistent, formal wording to improve accuracy and reduce the effort required to interpret some comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including the overview sentence beginning “Overall” and the clause “where females took over.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms recur. For example, “Starting with the age group 15 to 25 males dominated” needs clearer punctuation and a more complete comparison, while “both 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 showed similar pattern” has an awkward subject and is missing an article. “People of aged 65 and over” is also not a well-formed phrase. Use complete, clearly structured sentences, check singular and plural agreement, and add punctuation around introductory phrases. Greater control of these patterns would make the comparisons easier to read.

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