Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrate the percentage of Australian men and women doing everyday physical activity in 2010.

overall, we see that the age started with 15 and end in 65 and over.The bar fluctuate the percentage over the age. we can see that male percentage 15 to 24 are 52.8 % which compares to others it is the highest rate of exercise. Moreover 25 to 64 age the percentage rate increases 42.2 to 45.1 % , around 2% among the age group.

However , we saw that from 15 to 24 age group of female its skyrocket dramatically around 2.3% each among the 5 age group. here we can overseas at the age of 45 to 54 it is the highest exercise rate in 2010 which comes with woman.

partially, at the age of 65 and over the stamina of woman readuce largely so the percentage comes up 47.1%.

At the last point, men are encourage to do exercise 65 and over 46.7 %.

its flactuated for both side .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and report several relevant figures, including the male peak of 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds and the female peak of 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds. However, the account only partially captures the main patterns, and some comparisons are inaccurate or unclear. For example, male activity does not simply increase from ages 25 to 64: it falls from 42.2% to 39.5% before rising to 45.1%. The claim that women’s rate rises by about 2.3% across each of five groups is also misleading; the values rise to 53.3% and then fall. A clearer overview should state that men lead only in the youngest group, while women lead in all the others, and summarise the contrasting trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an opening, an overview, and separate comments about men and women. Linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “However” show an effort to connect points. Nevertheless, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is vague (“The bar fluctuate the percentage over the age”), and the discussion jumps between age groups and trends without a consistent structure. The final statements, “its flactuated for both side,” repeat an idea without clarifying it. Group the information into a clear overview followed by comparisons of the male and female patterns, and use references such as “this figure” only when their meaning is clear. This would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” “highest,” and “exercise rate,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. “Everyday physical activity” does not accurately convey the chart’s “regular physical activity,” while “skyrocket dramatically” overstates a modest rise. Phrases such as “the stamina of woman” and “men are encourage to do exercise” are not suitable descriptions of chart data. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “flactuated,” “readuce,” and “overseas” where a different word is intended. Use precise, neutral language for describing figures and trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “The bar chart illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “male percentage 15 to 24 are 52.8%” has problems with articles, number, and sentence structure. The sentence beginning “Moreover 25 to 64 age” lacks a clear grammatical frame, and “At the last point, men are encourage” contains an incorrect verb form. Capitalisation and punctuation are also unreliable, as in the lower-case “overall” after the opening sentence and spaces before commas. Practise building accurate comparison sentences, such as “The figure for men fell from … to …, then rose to …,” before attempting longer structures.

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