Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the bar chart displays the propronts of both gender man and women in Australia. With the destinct age groups who did sports regularly in 2010.

Overall, the percentage of both genders in 15 to 24 doing regular physical activity. In contrast

On the first hand, the figuer show that the percentage of male between 15 to 24 it is highly it picked at around 53% as well as for womean it

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and year, and the figure of about 53% for men aged 15–24 is broadly accurate. However, the response does not provide a usable overview: “Overall” is followed by an incomplete statement, and “In contrast” is left unfinished. The comparison between the sexes is also not completed, and almost all age groups and the main trends are omitted. In particular, women’s activity rates are higher than men’s in every group except 15–24, while men’s rate falls and then rises across the older groups. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words. To improve, give a clear overview and report several key comparisons with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview paragraph and a further detail paragraph. The use of “Overall” and “On the first hand” shows an effort to signal stages of the report. However, the progression breaks down because the overview ends with the incomplete connector “In contrast,” and the final sentence also stops before completing its comparison. As a result, the reader cannot follow a developed account of the chart. The ideas are not grouped into a clear overview and supporting comparisons, and the linking phrases do not connect complete points. Use a simple structure: introduction, overview of the main patterns, then two paragraphs comparing relevant age groups.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response includes some task-relevant vocabulary, such as “percentage,” “age groups,” “regularly,” and “physical activity,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is very limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing difficult to interpret, including “propronts,” “destinct,” “figuer,” and “womean.” The phrase “did sports regularly” is less precise than the chart’s wording, and “it picked” is not a natural way to describe a rate. Aim to use accurate chart language consistently, such as “participated in regular physical activity,” “accounted for,” and “was highest.” Check spelling carefully and avoid using vague or incomplete phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts a few sentence forms, including an opening description and a sentence beginning “Overall,” but control is weak and the sentences are often incomplete. For example, “With the destinct age groups who did sports regularly in 2010” is a fragment, while “Overall, the percentage of both genders in 15 to 24 doing regular physical activity” lacks a complete main verb. The final sentence, “the percentage of male between 15 to 24 it is highly it picked,” has an unclear structure and faulty verb construction. Punctuation also leaves “In contrast” unattached to a complete idea. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences first, then add comparisons using accurate forms such as “was higher than” and “increased.”

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