Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

PERCENTAGE OF MEN AND WOMEN

The percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

In this bar chart the bars which are completely filled with colour represents to female while the bars with littel bars in it represent to males. In horizantal line ages of man and women are mark.On the other hand percentage is mark on vertical line.When we talk about women activities which are doing in 2010.In 2010 the women with age of 15 to 24 their percentage of regular activities is 47.7.At the same time in 2010 women with the age of 25 to 34 their percentage is 48.9.The women related to age group of 35 to 44 has percentage 52.2.The age group of 45 to 54 has percentage 53.3 The activities doing by age group of 65 and over is47.1.Similarly if we talk about men regular activitiy in2010 the men eith age group of 15 to 24 is 52.8.the men with age group 25 to 34 is 42.2. The men with age group has percentage 39.5.The men with age group 45 to 54 has percentage 43.1 . When we compared men and women regular activities we learn that the regular activities insome ages women have heigher percentage as compared to men. But in some cases men have heigher percentage as compared to women.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and report several figures, including 47.7% for women aged 15–24 and 52.8% for men in that group. However, the response is mainly a sequence of individual values rather than a clear summary of the main features. The overview is vague: “in some ages women have higher percentage” does not explain the overall pattern, and the comparison is incomplete. For example, women were more active than men in every age group except 15–24, but this key contrast is not stated clearly. Some data are also missing, including the women’s 55–64 figure and the men’s 55–64 and 65-and-over figures; the 35–44 female figure is given as 52.2 rather than 52.5. Focus on the overall trends and accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the chart, describes women, then men, and ends with a comparison. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the information is not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the repeated pattern “the women with the age…” / “the men with age group…” makes the progression mechanical. Several transitions, such as “At the same time” and “Similarly,” do not clearly show the relationship between the figures. The final comparison is too general to bring the report together. Group the data into paragraphs and organise them around meaningful patterns—for example, the male and female trends, followed by the age groups where the gap is largest—using clear comparisons and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” and “regular physical activity,” so the topic remains understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “the activities doing by age group” and “regular activities.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “horizantal,” “littel,” “heigher,” and “activitiy.” These errors sometimes make the wording harder to follow, while repeated use of “percentage” and “age group” limits variety. Build a small set of accurate chart-reporting expressions, such as “the proportion of women,” “participation rose,” and “the figure peaked,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to report figures in full sentences and uses some linking clauses, but sentence structures are mostly simple and frequently contain errors. For example, “the bars … represents” has subject–verb disagreement, while “their percentage … is 47.7” is missing a clear grammatical construction such as “the figure was 47.7%.” Articles and prepositions are also often omitted or misplaced, as in “In horizantal line ages … are mark.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, with several sentences joined or separated by full stops inappropriately. These recurring problems sometimes obscure relationships between ideas. Practise accurate comparative sentence patterns and past-tense reporting, then check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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