Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart below shows the data of Australian men and women who do some kind of physical activities. Physical activities can refers to different kind of activities like running,jogging,walking and there are many more activities,doing physical activities can benefit a person in so many useful ways like the main advantantage is on the health of a person wheather it is mental or physical health. In 2010 different age group people in Australia did physical activities.in the age group 15-24 the male are the most energatic in doing physical activities having 52.8 percent and females lacking behind by a very little margin with a percent of 47.7.Now moving forward as the ages of male are increasing they have less focus on physical activities, in the age group 25 to 34 females are leading males having 48.9 percent and males having 42.2 %. Now in the of age group 35 to 44 males are not so serious about physical activities because of various possible reasons ,males having 39.5% lacking far behind then females having 52.5% physical activities. People of age group 45 to 54 who are aged the males are again recovering and doing physical activities with a percent of 43.1 and females with 53.3% , Now coming to an end old people of age 55 to 64 have a male percent 45.1 and 53 of females . at the end both male and females have slightly same percentage of 46.7 and 47.1 they are the people of age group 65 and afterward.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report several figures accurately, including 52.8% for men aged 15–24, 39.5% for men aged 35–44, and the female peak of 53.3% among those aged 45–54. However, the response only partially fulfils the chart-summary task. The opening discusses possible activities and health benefits, which are not shown in the chart, while the main trends are not clearly summarised in an overview. A key pattern is that men’s participation falls from the youngest group to ages 35–44, then rises, whereas women’s rate is higher in every group except 15–24. The claim that men have “less focus” also assigns a reason not supported by the data. Focus on describing and comparing the figures rather than explaining them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows the age groups in chart order and uses sequencing phrases such as “Now moving forward” and “at the end,” so the reader can generally follow which figures are being discussed. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no distinct overview or clear grouping of the main trends. The repeated “Now” transitions make the progression mechanical, and several sentences run together, making comparisons harder to locate. For example, the discussion of ages 45–54 and 55–64 is joined to the next point with commas rather than clear sentence boundaries. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and one or two comparison-focused detail paragraphs; use linking words selectively.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “age group,” “percentage,” “leading,” and “lacking behind,” and the reader can usually understand the comparisons. However, the range is limited and several expressions are informal, imprecise, or unsuitable for an academic report. Phrases such as “most energetic,” “not so serious,” and “old people” interpret or label the groups rather than neutrally describing the data. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “advantantage,” “wheather,” and “energatic.” Aim for precise reporting language such as “the proportion,” “was higher than,” “declined,” and “increased,” and check spelling before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences to compare groups, and many figures remain understandable despite the errors. However, sentence structures are often faulty or run together, and punctuation does not reliably separate complete ideas. For example, “Physical activities can refers” has incorrect verb agreement, while “In 2010 different age group people in Australia did physical activities.in the age group…” contains a missing sentence boundary and an awkwardly formed clause. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and agreement, as in “the male are” and “different age group people.” Use shorter, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add a few accurate comparison clauses. Check capitalisation and full stops as well as grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.