Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The percentage of women in the age of 15 to 24 is 52.8 and that of men is 47.7 which is relatively small. Now, if we look upon the percentage of women in the age of 25 to 34 is 42.2 and that of men is 48.9 which is higher than the percentage of women. Now the percentage of women at the age of 35 to 44 is 39.5 and that of men is 52.5 which is higher. The percentage of women at the age of 45 to 54 is 43.1 and that of men is 53.3 which is also higher. Now the percentage ofwomen at the age of 55 to 64 is 45.1 and that of men is 53 which is again higher. Now the percentage of women at the age of 65 and over is 46.7 and that of men is 47.1 which is again higher. So at the end i conclude from this bar chart that only at the age of 15 to 24 women perform physical activities greater than men.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the chart’s subject and make a relevant comparison between the sexes, but several figures are repeatedly assigned to the wrong group. For example, in the 15–24 group, 52.8% is the male figure and 47.7% is female, not the reverse; in the other age groups, the figures are also labelled backwards. This makes your concluding claim—that women are more active only among 15–24-year-olds—incorrect: women exceed men in every group except the youngest. The response also lacks a clear overview of the main pattern, such as men’s rate falling to a low among 35–44-year-olds before rising, while women’s rate peaks around middle age. Select accurate key features and summarise these trends before listing comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response follows the age groups in chart order, so the reader can see that you are attempting a systematic comparison. However, it is presented as one continuous paragraph, with no distinct overview or grouping of related information. Repeatedly beginning sentences with “Now” makes the progression mechanical, and phrases such as “which is higher” do not always make clear which sex or figure is being compared. The final sentence signals a conclusion, but it repeats a claim based on mislabelled data rather than drawing together the overall trends. Use a brief overview followed by logically grouped details, and vary linking language while making comparisons explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the chart’s general subject, using relevant terms such as “percentage,” “age groups,” and “physical activities.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise. “Now” is used repeatedly to introduce each data point, while “which is higher” gives little detail about the comparison. “The percentage of women in the age of 15 to 24” is also an awkward way to describe an age category. Choose more precise chart language and vary verbs for describing figures and trends. These improvements would make the report clearer and more appropriate in style, while careful checking of the male and female labels is essential to ensure the vocabulary accurately describes the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You use mostly simple sentence patterns and make some attempts to connect clauses, for example, “which is higher than the percentage of women.” The meaning is generally recoverable, but the repeated structure limits grammatical range, and some constructions are inaccurate. In “the percentage of women in the age of 15 to 24 is 52.8,” the phrasing around the age category is not well formed; “women in the 15–24 age group” would be clearer. The long sequence of clauses joined with “and” also needs more controlled punctuation and sentence boundaries. Practise combining accurate comparison clauses with varied structures, and check articles and prepositions when describing age groups.
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