Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Male of 15 to 24 age group has a physical activity 52.8% and female aged group 25 to 34 age group between 15 to 24 has a 47.7% of physical activity.
Age group of male between 25 to 34 has physical activity of 42.2% and femal age group 25 to 34 has a physical activity of 48.9%.
Age group of male between 35 to 44 has a physical activity 39.5 % and female group with age of 35 to 44 has 52.5% of physical activity.
Age group of male between 45 to 54 has a physical activity 43.1% and female with this age group has 53.3% physical activity.
Age group of male between 55 to 64 has a physical activity of 45.1% and femal with this age group has physical activity 53%.
Age group of male between 65 and above has a physical activity 46.7% and femal with this age group has physical activity 47.1%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You report the figures for all six age groups, and the percentages are generally accurate, so the response is relevant to the chart. However, it mainly lists paired values rather than summarising the main features. There is no clear overview of the contrasting trends: men’s activity falls from the youngest group to a low among 35–44-year-olds, then rises, while women’s rates are higher in every group except 15–24. The opening also confusingly pairs the male figure for ages 15–24 with the female figure for the same group, but describes the female age group as 25–34. To improve, add a concise overview and select key comparisons, rather than presenting the data as a sequence of repeated statements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response follows the chart’s age-group order, and each sentence attempts to compare male and female figures for one group. This gives the reader a basic sequence to follow. However, the writing is presented as one repetitive list, with no introduction, overview, or paragraphing to distinguish the main message from supporting details. Repeated openings such as “Age group of male…” make the progression mechanical, and the first sentence’s age references are difficult to follow. Organise the response into a brief introduction, an overview of the trends, and one or two detail paragraphs. Use varied but clear linking and comparison phrases so the relationships between the figures are easier to understand.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subjects and report percentages, using terms such as “age group,” “male,” “female,” and “physical activity.” The figures remain understandable despite some awkward phrasing. However, the range is basic and repetitive, especially the repeated phrase “has a physical activity,” which is not a natural way to describe a percentage. There are also spelling errors in “femal,” and expressions such as “female aged group” are imprecise. Build a small set of accurate chart-description phrases, for example “the proportion who exercised regularly,” “stood at,” and “was higher than.” This would make the report more concise and natural without requiring overly advanced vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response uses simple sentence patterns to report the figures, and readers can usually identify the age group and percentage being discussed. However, the grammatical range is very limited: nearly every sentence follows the same pattern, with little variation in clause structure. Frequent errors affect clarity, including “Male of 15 to 24 age group has…” and “female aged group 25 to 34 age group between 15 to 24,” where the sentence structure and relationships between age groups are unclear. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or awkwardly placed. Practise complete comparison sentences, such as “Among 15–24-year-olds, 52.8% of men exercised regularly, compared with 47.7% of women.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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