Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian men and women in different age groups who perform regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, women recorded a considerably higher figure than that from men. Women slightly decreased in the younger women and older women for doing regular physical activity. Meanwhile, men had dramatically fallen in the older men.

Men were the peak percentage of doing physical activity, at the age group of 15 to 24 with (52.8%) which gradually declined at the age group of 25 to 34 with (42.2%),then slightly drop with (39.5) at the age group of 24 to 34. after that at the age of 45 to 54 the percentage rise again with (43,1%), and increase minor at the age of 55 to 64 with (45.1%), and end with (46.7%)at the older men

Women were the peak percentage at the age of 45 to 54 with (53.3%), while this value of percentage dipped in the younger women with (52.5%), (48.9%), (47.7%) at the age group of 35 to 44 and 25 to 34 and 15 to 24 respectively, while this percentage were also decline at the older women with (53.3%) at the age of 55 to 64, and declined rapidly with (47.1%) at the age of 65 and over women.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the chart’s subject and include many accurate figures, such as the male peak of 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds and the female peak of 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: women did not simply decrease among younger and older groups, since their activity rose from 47.7% to 53.3% across the age groups up to 45–54, then fell. The statement that men “dramatically fallen” in older age groups also conflicts with the data: after reaching a low of 39.5%, the male rate rises to 46.7%. There is also a mislabelled age group: 39.5% is for 35–44, not 24–34. Select the main trends accurately and compare the sexes across the age range.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for men and women. This makes the two series easy to locate, and sequencing figures by age generally helps the reader follow the data. However, progression is weakened by unclear or contradictory statements in the overview and by long, heavily linked sentences in the detail paragraphs. For example, the male paragraph strings several points together with “then,” “after that,” and “and,” while the female paragraph repeats “while” and gives the age groups in reverse order. Some references, such as “this value” and “this percentage,” are not always clear. Use shorter sentences, consistent age order, and more precise comparisons between the sexes.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “proportion,” “percentage,” “declined,” and “rise again,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, which limits clarity: “women recorded a considerably higher figure than that from men,” “Men were the peak percentage,” and “the older men” do not express the data naturally. “Dramatically fallen” also overstates the male trend, which actually turns upward after the 35–44 group. Aim for accurate reporting verbs and collocations, such as “the proportion of men,” “reached a peak,” and “increased gradually.” Avoid repeating “percentage” when “rate” or “proportion” would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use time and comparison clauses, but control is inconsistent, and several sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “Women slightly decreased in the younger women and older women” has an unclear subject, while “this percentage were also decline” combines an incorrect agreement form with an incorrect verb construction. There are also errors in articles and sentence boundaries, as in “at the age group of 15 to 24 with (52.8%) which…” and the lower-case “after that” following a full stop. Commas and spacing around figures are inconsistent. Build more reliable simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms, and punctuation when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.