Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

First X axis show the Australian manes and womans and what ages people activity younger or olders peoples and we have see.

second one is 15 to 24 younger peoples activity a womanes 47.7% and manes 52.8% and same you will next part 25 to 34 Female 49.9% and manes 42.2% and same you will start next one is 35 to 44 femals 52.5% and manes 39.9% and next one is 45 to 54 43.1% and 53.3% and you will next one is 55 to 64 males 45.1% and femals 53% and you will go next one is 65 and over males 46.7 0r femals47.1.

We have see diffrent ages and tow groupes male and femals but 45 to 54 femals activity a larg amount.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and reports several age-group figures, so it shows some awareness of the information. However, it does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main patterns: for example, women’s activity is higher than men’s in every group except 15–24, and the male rate falls then rises, while the female rate generally rises before declining. Some figures are inaccurate: women aged 25–34 are reported as 49.9% rather than 48.9%, and men aged 35–44 as 39.9% rather than 39.5%. The final comparison is also too narrow to summarise the chart. The response is 125 words, below the required 150, which limits its coverage. Add a concise overview and select accurate key comparisons before detailing figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The figures are presented broadly in age-group order, which gives the reader a basic route through the chart. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure or progression from an overview to supporting details. Phrases such as “second one,” “same you will next part,” and repeated “you will next one” make the sequence mechanical and sometimes difficult to follow. The opening repeats the task wording rather than introducing a useful summary, and the final sentence does not clearly connect to the preceding data. Group the information into an overview and one or two comparison paragraphs, and use clear links such as “By contrast” or “In the older groups” to show relationships between the figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age groups,” “activity,” and “larg amount,” and the reader can generally identify the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “manes,” “womans,” “younger peoples,” and “a larg amount.” Repeated wording such as “next one” also makes the description imprecise and less suitable for an academic report. Use standard terms such as “men,” “women,” “participants,” and “proportion,” and choose verbs that describe data clearly, for example “rose,” “fell,” or “was higher.” Check spelling and plural forms, and avoid conversational phrasing when reporting the chart.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to report figures in short clauses, and some basic comparisons can be understood. However, sentence structures are very limited, and errors in agreement, articles, and sentence formation occur throughout. For example, “First X axis show” lacks an appropriate subject and verb form, while “a womanes 47.7% and manes 52.8%” is not a complete, well-formed comparison. The long sequence joined by “and” also makes relationships between ideas unclear. Practise complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Among 15–24-year-olds, the male figure was 52.8%, compared with 47.7% for females.” Use consistent punctuation and vary simple comparison structures accurately before attempting longer sentences.

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