Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given bar chart elucidates information about Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activty 2010 . The chart compares the different categories and present the data in number or percentage . Overall it is clear that there are noticeable difference among the categories shown in the chart . According to the chart the first main activity is Male age is 15 to 24 that percentge is above 50 and real percentage is 52.8 and the women age is 15 to 24 that percentage is 47.7 .The next male age is 25 to 34 that percentage is 42.2 and women percentage is 48.9 The next male age is 35 to 44 that percentage is 39.5 and women percentage is 52.5 . The next male age is 45 to 54 that male age is 43.1 and women percentage is high that is 53.3 .The next male age is 55 to 64 that male age is 45.1 and women percentage is 64 .Overall the next age is 55 and over the male age is 46.7 and women age is 47.1 that is high . The chart compares the difference categories among the chart .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the chart’s subject and report several relevant figures, including 52.8% for men aged 15–24 and 53.3% for women aged 45–54. However, the response only partially summarises the data: the overview (“noticeable difference”) does not state the main pattern that men lead only in the youngest group, while women are higher in all other groups. There is also a significant factual error: women aged 55–64 are reported as 64%, rather than 53%. The final age group is described imprecisely as “55 and over,” and the account does not clearly highlight the lowest male figure or the women’s peak. A more selective overview and accurate comparisons would make the key features clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response follows the age groups in chart order, so readers can see that you are attempting to describe the data systematically. However, it is presented as one continuous paragraph, with no clear separation between an overview and supporting details. Repeated transitions such as “The next” make the progression mechanical, and the final sentence repeats the general idea that the chart compares categories without adding information. Some links between figures are also unclear, as in “the next male age is 45 to 54 that male age is 43.1.” Group the response into an introduction, a concise overview, and detail paragraphs, and use comparisons such as “whereas” or “by contrast” to show relationships between the sexes.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use basic task-related vocabulary such as “bar chart,” “percentage,” “categories,” and “compares,” which allows the reader to recognise the topic. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, including “the next male age” and “the chart compares the difference categories.” Spelling errors such as “activty,” “percentge,” and “women” where you mean “women’s” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise terms for the people and figures being compared, and vary the language used to describe changes and contrasts. For example, “participation rate” and “was higher than” would be more natural in this report. Check spelling and possessive forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Most sentences use a simple pattern, often joining clauses with “that,” and there is little evidence of varied sentence structures. Errors in sentence formation and punctuation occur frequently, as in “The next male age is 25 to 34 that percentage is 42.2,” where the relationship between the clauses is not properly marked. The opening also has awkward construction: “The chart compares the different categories and present the data.” Articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries need more consistent control. Try writing complete, concise sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use a range of accurate comparison structures, for example: “Women’s rate was 48.9%, compared with 42.2% for men.”
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