Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart compares below shwon the percentage of Australin men ans women in diifernt age and regular physical activity.

overall, in austrelian men and women age of group 15 to 24 and 45to 54 as wll 55 to 64 is shwon the more physical activity, the here shwon the women phycial activity more then man.

Man the age of group 15 to 24 here man physical activity is 52/ women activity is low , as compear to group 35 to 44 man physical activity 39/ is very low here we see the group of 65 and over mans physical activity is 46.7, the we see the catvity is increasd of age 65 and over.

women the age of group 15 to 24 is physical activity is 47.7 as compear to man is less. But ofortuneltly age of 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 women activity is high than means group.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the chart’s subject and make a relevant general observation that women were more active than men in several age groups. You also include some accurate figures, such as 47.7% for women aged 15–24 and 46.7% for men aged 65 and over. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: men’s highest rate was among 15–24-year-olds, not across the several groups listed, while women’s rate peaked at 45–54. The response also omits key comparisons, including that men exceeded women only in the youngest group and that women’s activity was highest in middle age. Some figures are imprecise or missing, and the trends are only briefly described. Select the main patterns accurately, then support them with clear comparisons and figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening, an overview, and separate comments about men and women. This gives the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas within paragraphs are loosely connected, and several sentences are incomplete or unclear, such as “the here shwon the women phycial activity more then man.” Linking expressions such as “as compear to” are repeated and do not always make the comparison clear. The final paragraph also ends without a concluding summary of the main pattern. Use a clear sequence—introduction, overview, then grouped comparisons—and connect each figure directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” “physical activity,” and “increased,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and many spelling errors make the wording difficult to understand, for example “shwon,” “diifernt,” “austrelian,” and “phycial.” Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “the more physical activity” and “women activity is high than means group.” These problems sometimes obscure the intended comparisons. Build a small set of accurate chart-description expressions, such as “the proportion who exercised regularly,” “was higher than,” “peaked at,” and “rose gradually,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form comparisons and longer sentences, for example “as compear to group 35 to 44,” but the response relies mainly on simple, incomplete structures and the longer attempts are often difficult to interpret. Errors in sentence construction, articles, agreement, and verb forms occur frequently: “the percentage of … men ans women in diifernt age” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “the here shwon the women … more then man” has unclear word order and missing articles. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, such as “Women’s participation was higher than men’s in every age group except 15–24,” and use consistent past-tense reporting.

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