Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrate the proportion of Australian men and women in different age groups how did people play different activity in 2010.Overall, it is evident that all categories are increased but female are significantally rise in the during year.

To begin, In 2010, Australian men age 15 to 24 are 52.8%. It was decreased 42.2%. percentage are declined around 39.5 % and it was dramatically rose age 45 to 54 around 43.1% also it rose significantally in addition it was increased around 45.1% age 55 to 64 than men did physical activites age 65 and over approximately 46.7.

In sharp contrast, women did physical activites age 15 to 34 was 47.7%. than it rose 48.9%. to begin it increased around 52.5%. after that female age 35 to 44% approximately 52.5%. and it rose significantally 53.3% women age 45 to 54%. also it decreased minimally 53% age 55 to 64. In addition female age 65 and over physical activity did 47.1%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response includes figures for both sexes across the age groups, and several values match the chart, such as men at 52.8% in the youngest group and women at 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds. However, the overview is inaccurate: “all categories are increased” does not describe the fluctuations, and the claim that women “significantly rise” is too vague to identify the main pattern. Women were more active than men in every group except 15–24, while men fell to a low of 39.5% before rising; these key comparisons are not clearly summarised. Some details are also confused: the women’s 52.5% figure is repeated, and the age-group wording around 15–34 is unclear. Select and accurately compare the main trends before listing figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic structure: an introduction and overview are followed by separate paragraphs about men and women. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because many short statements are joined by repetitive or inaccurate links such as “than,” “also,” “in addition,” and “to begin.” For example, the women’s paragraph repeats the 52.5% figure and then returns to the 35–44 group, disrupting the sequence. Punctuation also creates abrupt fragments. Use a clear chronological order for each series, and connect comparisons directly—for instance, explain where women’s rates exceed men’s rather than treating each figure as an isolated fact.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “proportion,” “decreased,” “rose,” and “in contrast,” so the reader can recognise that it is describing changes and comparisons. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or repetitive. “All categories are increased” does not express the chart’s mixed pattern, while “significantally rise” is both misspelled and an imprecise description of the modest changes. Phrases such as “did physical activities” and “men age 15 to 24 are 52.8%” are not natural ways to report participation rates. Aim for precise trend language and collocations such as “the proportion of men who exercised” and “reached a low of.” Check spelling of repeated words such as “activities” and “significantly.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few different sentence forms, including an overview and clauses linked with “than” and “after that,” but control is weak and errors frequently make relationships unclear. Subject–verb agreement is problematic in “The bar chart illustrate” and “female are,” and tense and sentence construction are faulty in “It was decreased 42.2%.” Several statements are fragments, including “than it rose 48.9%,” while missing or misplaced punctuation makes the sequence harder to interpret. Articles and plural forms are also inconsistent, as in “Australian men age 15 to 24.” Build complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use consistent past-tense reporting: for example, “The male rate fell to 42.2%.”

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