Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrate the percentage of Australian men and women and devide into six catogries.The age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overview:

Overall,we find age groups of men and woman .the first figure show that the percentage of male is 52.8 and the men percentage is 47.7.the next figure illustrate that the percentage of male is lower than the female percentage anf the percentage is 42.2 and 48.9

The 3rd figure showed that the percentage of male islower than the female percentage and the percentage is 39.5 and 52.5.The next percentage is 45 and 54 the percentage of male and female is 43.1 and 53.3.

The other figure illustrate that the 55 and 64 and the percentage is 45.1 to53 and the hogher percentage of female .The last catogrie is 65 and over and this percentage is similar from male and female the percentage is 46.7 and 47.1.

The chart showed that the percentage of male is higher then the female

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and report several relevant figures, including the male and female rates for the youngest group and the 35–44 and 65-and-over groups. However, the overview is unclear and does not accurately summarise the main pattern: women recorded higher activity in every age group except 15–24, whereas your final sentence says men were higher. Some comparisons are also difficult to interpret, such as “the next percentage is 45 and 54,” before the exact figures are given. To improve, state the overall gender pattern and the contrasting trends clearly, then group the figures by age range and report them accurately. This would make the response a more complete summary rather than a series of loosely connected observations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has some basic organisation: it begins with an introduction, labels an overview, and then moves through age groups in chart order. This gives the reader a rough sense of progression. However, the overview does not function as a clear summary, and the body paragraphs are not separated into well-defined comparisons. Repeated openings such as “The next figure” and “The other figure” make the account mechanical, while references like “this percentage” are sometimes unclear. The final sentence also conflicts with the figures already reported. Organise the body around meaningful patterns—for example, the youngest group and the remaining age groups—and use clear linking phrases such as “By contrast” and “In the oldest group.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age groups,” “higher,” and “similar,” so the basic topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several words are repeated frequently, particularly “figure,” “percentage,” and “show.” Spelling errors such as “catogries,” “devide,” “anf,” and “hogher” make the writing less clear, while phrases such as “the percentage is 45 and 54” are imprecise for describing chart data. Aim for accurate, varied reporting language and check spelling carefully. For example, use “rate,” “proportion,” or “stood at” where appropriate, and describe comparisons directly, such as “women’s rate exceeded men’s.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little variety in sentence structure. Frequent grammatical errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “The bar chart illustrate” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “The age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010” is an incomplete sentence. In “the percentage of male is lower than the female percentage,” the article and noun forms are not controlled, and punctuation is often missing after introductory phrases. Practise writing complete sentences with accurate agreement and articles, and combine related comparisons using simple clauses such as “In the 35–44 group, 52.5% of women were active, compared with 39.5% of men.”

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