Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the bar graph depicts the proportion of Australian men and women of various age groups doing physical actives regularly in 2010.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the figure for doing physical activities was the highest among women, where as the proportion of males was recorded for the lowest as compare to the females.

looking at the graph in more detail, 15 to 24 years old males did 52.8% physical activity, the proportion of females stood at 47.7%. Moreover, 25 to 34 age group of men did 42.2%physical activity although the percentage of females was higher, which was 48.9%. In addition, in 35 to 44 age group, 45 to 54 age group and 55 to 64 age group, the interest of doing physical activity was higher among women than men, which was around 53% in females and almost 45% in males.

What is more, the proportion of doing regular physical activity by Australian men and women was almost similar for 65 and above age group in 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the chart’s subject and include several relevant comparisons, including the male and female figures for ages 15–24 and 25–34. You also note that women’s participation is higher across the middle age groups and that the oldest group is similar. However, the overview is inaccurate: men, not women, have the highest rate in the youngest group, and women’s rates are higher overall only across most—not all—age groups. The claim that men had the lowest proportion compared with women is too broad and does not capture the changing pattern. Some key trends are also under-developed: men’s rate falls to a low at 35–44 before rising, while women’s rate peaks at 45–54 and then declines. State these patterns clearly and support them with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and a detail paragraph, followed by a final comparison. Sequencing phrases such as “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “What is more” help signal progression, and the reader can generally follow the age-group comparisons. However, the middle-age figures are compressed into one sentence, making it harder to see how the two series change across those groups. The final sentence about the oldest group feels detached rather than integrated with the other comparisons. Some linking expressions are also used mechanically or do not add a clear relationship. Group the data by trend—for example, the youngest group, the middle-age pattern, and the oldest group—and use clearer references to the male and female rates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of chart-related vocabulary, including “proportion,” “percentage,” “stood at,” and “recorded,” and the topic remains understandable. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “physical actives,” “did physical activity,” and “the interest of doing physical activity.” “The figure for doing physical activities” is also awkward and imprecise. Repeating “proportion” and “physical activity” limits flexibility, while “almost similar” is not a natural way to describe close values. Use standard reporting language such as “participation rate,” “engaged in regular physical activity,” and “was slightly higher than.” More precise vocabulary would also help distinguish a rate that rises, falls, peaks, or remains similar.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a contrast with “although” and a relative clause beginning “where.” Most of the message is understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, “where as” should be written as “whereas,” and “as compare to” has an incorrect verb form; the sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure. In “25 to 34 age group of men,” the age-group phrase needs an article or a more complete construction. There is also missing spacing after the percentage in “42.2%physical activity,” and sentence openings are inconsistently capitalised. Aim for complete, controlled comparisons, such as “Among men aged 25–34, the rate was 42.2%, compared with 48.9% for women.”

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