Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart illustrates percetange of Australian men and women in different age sectors who did regular physical activity in year 2010.
Overall people aged 15 to 24 had the highest percentage of doing regular physical activity in male group in contrast middle aged mens had the lowest percentage , However if we look at women's chart women's doing regular physical activity peaked during middle age.
Initially if we look at the chart more than half of the percentage of male aged 15-24 used to do physical activity regularly , Howver percentage decline massively by 10% for people aged 25-34 in contrast people aged 35-44 recorded lowest percentage of people doing regular physical activity. Moreover percentage considerablly rose after that and maintained upward trend for middle aged and older people.
If we look at womens chart , Females aged 15-24 had relatively lower percentage than men but it seemingly rose after that and maintained upward trend. We can see that middle aged womens focuses more on regular physical activity than young women.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the main contrast: men have their highest activity rate among 15–24-year-olds, while women peak in middle age. You also describe the male decline to ages 35–44 and subsequent rise, which matches the chart. However, some details are unclear or imprecise: “middle aged mens had the lowest percentage” does not specify the 35–44 group, and the claim that women “maintained upward trend” overlooks the fall after their peak, from 53.3% at ages 45–54 to 47.1% among those 65 and over. The overview would be stronger if it stated that women exceeded men in every age group except the youngest. Develop the comparisons with a few accurate figures to make the summary more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing men and women. This gives the reader a sensible route through the information, and phrases such as “Overall” and “Moreover” help signal relationships between points. The progression is not always smooth, however. Repeated openings such as “if we look at the chart” make the account feel formulaic, while “However” after the overview is awkwardly capitalised and punctuated. Some references are also vague: “that” in “maintained upward trend” does not clearly identify the figures being discussed. To strengthen the organisation, group the key comparisons by age pattern and use more precise links between the male and female data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “decline,” “lowest,” “peaked,” and “upward trend,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There are nevertheless noticeable spelling and word-choice problems that reduce precision. “Percetange” and “considerablly” are misspelled, and “age sectors” is less natural than “age groups.” Phrases such as “percentage of doing regular physical activity” and “women’s focuses more” are awkward or inaccurate collocations. “Massively” is also too informal and imprecise for describing a change in a chart. Aim for accurate, conventional reporting language, such as “the proportion fell by around ten percentage points” and “women’s participation rate.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “but” and “in contrast,” and most of the intended meaning can be followed. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence boundaries, agreement, and article use. For example, “Overall people aged 15 to 24 had…” needs clearer punctuation after the introductory word, and “middle aged mens had” has incorrect plural and possessive forms. In “Females aged 15-24 had relatively lower percentage,” the article is missing; “women’s focuses” also has faulty agreement and structure. Several long sentences join clauses with commas or capitalise “However” mid-sentence. Review punctuation and check each sentence’s subject, verb, and article choices.
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