Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the bar chart illustrates the percentage of men and women in differnt age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

overall, 45 to 54 years old males had highest figure in this graph in contrast 35 to 44 years old females contributed for lowest figure in this graph. 65+ years old male and female contributed almost same figure.

45 to 54 years old males contributed 53.3% it was highest figure in graph in contrast 35 to 44 years old females did activity at 39.5% and it was lowest share in [redacted phone]-54 years old males got second number at 53% and it decreased normaly at 52.8 in 15 to 24 years old males.65+ years old did exercise almost at same proportion at 47.1 and 46.7.

15 to 24 years old females did exercise at 47.7 and it decreases moderately at 42.2 in 25 to 34 years old females.35 to 44 years old males did at 52.5 and it also falled at 48.9 in age of 25 to 34.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart topic and attempt an overview, but the main features are substantially misreported, which limits how fully the task is addressed. The highest male figure is 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds, not 53.3% among men aged 45–54; 53.3% is the highest female figure. Likewise, the lowest value is 39.5% for men aged 35–44, not for women. Several later comparisons also mix up the sexes and age groups. The statement that the oldest men and women have similar rates is accurate, and you include some figures, but the overview and supporting details need to reflect the chart reliably. Organise the report around the overall gender pattern and the correct highs and lows, then support these with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then paragraphs containing comparisons. However, the progression is difficult to follow because details are presented in a confusing order and some comparisons are unclear or contradictory. For example, “35 to 44 years old males did at 52.5” assigns the female figure to men, while the preceding sentence gives another mismatched comparison. Linking is also limited, with repeated use of “in contrast” and “and,” and the run-together text around “201055-54” and “males.65+” makes relationships between ideas harder to see. Use separate, clearly punctuated sentences and group the data by gender or by age range. Accurate references such as “the corresponding figure for women” would also make comparisons easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the topic and make simple comparisons, using terms such as “percentage,” “age groups,” “highest,” and “lowest.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear. For instance, “contributed for lowest figure” and “did activity at” are not natural ways to describe chart data; “recorded the lowest rate” and “were physically active” would be more appropriate. “Decreased moderately” is also unsuitable for describing differences between separate age groups, and “normaly” is misspelled. Aim for a small set of precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as “stood at,” “accounted for,” and “proportion,” and use them consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including comparisons introduced by “in contrast,” but the range is limited and errors occur frequently enough to make several statements difficult to interpret. For example, “45 to 54 years old males had highest figure” lacks an article and has an awkward noun phrase, while “35 to 44 years old females contributed for lowest figure” has an incorrect grammatical pattern. The sentence “it decreased normaly at 52.8” also has an unclear subject and faulty construction. Punctuation is a further issue: several sentences run together without spaces or full stops. Practise forming clear subject–verb sentences, for example, “The rate for men aged 15–24 was 52.8%, the highest male figure,” and check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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