Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of men and women of Australia in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, the proportion of the female was the highest figure in different age groups. The percentage of people of the young age group was higher doing physical activities regularly and lowest for the middle age group for both genders.

In 2010, around 52.8% of men did regular exercise where as 47.7% of women did exercise. In the age group of 25 to 34 and 35 to 44, the proportion of the mal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The opening identifies the chart’s subject and year, and you report the first age group accurately: 52.8% of men compared with 47.7% of women. However, the response stops partway through the comparison for ages 25–44 (“the proportion of the mal”), so most of the data and the key pattern are not reported. The overview is also inaccurate: women were not highest in every age group, since men led among 15–24-year-olds, and the youngest group was not highest for both genders. The middle-age low applies to men, not women. The response is 84 words, below the 150-word minimum. Include a complete overview and compare the main trends across all age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, an overview, and then a detail sentence. This gives the reader some basic organisation, and phrases such as “Overall” and “In 2010” signal the purpose of each part. However, the final sentence is cut off, leaving the discussion incomplete and preventing a clear progression through the age groups. There are no developed comparisons linking the figures, and the overview’s broad claims are not followed by enough supporting detail. To improve, use separate paragraphs for the overview and key comparisons, then organise the figures by trend—for example, the male pattern and the female pattern—using clear links such as “whereas” and “by contrast.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “proportion,” “age groups,” and “regular physical activity,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There is some variation in how you refer to the figures, which helps avoid excessive repetition. However, several expressions are awkward or imprecise, such as “men and women of Australia” and “the proportion of the female,” while “doing physical activities regularly” is less natural than a concise chart description. The incomplete phrase “the proportion of the mal” also leaves the intended word unfinished. Aim for accurate collocations and consistent terms such as “Australian men and women,” “the proportion of women,” and “participated in regular physical activity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You produce several complete simple sentences, and the opening sentence clearly introduces the chart. The overview also attempts a more complex structure, showing some range beyond basic statements. However, grammatical control is uneven: “the proportion of the female was the highest figure” has an awkward singular construction, and “the percentage of people of the young age group was higher doing” is difficult to parse. The phrase “where as” should be written as one word, “whereas,” and the final sentence is incomplete. Use clear subject–verb structures, for example, “Women recorded the highest rates in most age groups,” and check that every sentence is complete and that comparisons have parallel forms.

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