Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of men and women of Australia in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, the proportion of the female was the highest figure in different age groups. The percentage of people of the young age group was higher doing physical activities regularly and lowest for the middle age group for both genders.

In 2010, around 52.8% of men did regular exercise where as 47.7% of women did exercise. In the age group of 25 to 34 and 35 to 44, the proportion of the male was the greatest as compared to the proportion of the female. The percentage of the male fall between 52% and 53.3% respectively.

The female of the age group of 55 to 64 were with the percentage of 53 and the women who did physical exercise was the 45%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and include an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. The claim that women had the highest figure across the age groups is too broad: men led among 15–24-year-olds, while women led in the other groups. More seriously, you say men had the greatest proportions at ages 25–34 and 35–44, although women were higher in both, and the stated male range of 52% to 53.3% does not match those figures. The final comparison also gives women aged 55–64 as 45%, rather than 53%. The response is 132 words, below the 150-word minimum, and several age groups and key trends are omitted. Select accurate comparisons and support the overview with the main changes across the age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression is limited because the details are sparse and some comparisons are difficult to follow, particularly the sentence about the 25–34 and 35–44 groups, followed by the inaccurate range “between 52% and 53.3% respectively.” The final paragraph introduces the 55–64 group without clearly linking it to the other age groups or explaining the overall pattern. Cohesive links such as “whereas” are attempted, but the relationships they signal are not always clear. Organise the body by contrasting male and female figures across age bands, and use accurate references such as “in contrast” or “by comparison” to make each comparison explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “proportion,” “age group,” and “regular physical activity,” so the topic is generally clear. There is also some variation in how you describe the data. However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “men and women of Australia,” “the proportion of the female,” and “the female of the age group.” “The percentage of the male fall” also uses an unsuitable form and does not clearly describe the trend. These choices make parts of the report awkward, even though the intended meaning can usually be inferred. Prefer concise, conventional expressions such as “Australian men and women,” “the proportion of women,” and “the figure for men declined.” Check that vocabulary describes the data accurately as well as sounding formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You produce several understandable simple sentences and attempt more complex comparisons, for example, “In the age group of 25 to 34 and 35 to 44…” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms recur. In “the proportion of the female was,” the noun phrase is not formed correctly; “the female … were” also has a singular/plural mismatch. The sentence “The percentage of the male fall…” has an incorrect verb form, while “where as” should be written as one word when used as a conjunction. These errors sometimes make relationships between figures harder to interpret. Practise accurate comparative sentence patterns, such as “Women’s rate was higher than men’s in…,” and check subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms when describing 2010 data.

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