Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

THE BAR CHART SHOWS COMPARES THE PROPORTION OF AUSTRALIAN MEN AND WOMEN OF DIFFERENT AGE GROUPS WHO ENGAGED REGULAR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY IN 2010.

OVERALL, WOMEN ARE MORE ACTIVE IN THAN MEN IN MOST AGE GROUPS. ADDITINOLY, PHYSICAL ACTIVITY LEVEL WERE IS MORE HOGH INCREASED TO WOMEN AND VERY LOW IN NOUMBER WERE MAN.

LOOKING FOR THE YOUGNER DEPOPHRESIS IN AGE GROUP OF 15 TO 24 IS MEN WHICH IS NUMBER IS 52.8% AND IN THE FEMALE GROUP THE NUMBER IS JUST 47.7%. THE ANOTHER NUMBER OF THE AGES WHICH IS 25 TO 34 , IN THE NUMBER WERE DECREASED IN MALE CATAGORY WHICH IS 42.2% AND IN THE FEMALES THE NOUMBER IS 48.9%.

THE ANOTHER OLDER AGE INFORMATION ABOUT 45 TO 54 IN MAN THE NUMBER WERE 43.1% WHICH IS SAME AS A LAST INFORMATION. IN THE AGE OF THE LAST ABOVE AGE IS MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQULLY NUMBERSS ARE AS SAME AS WHICH IS IN THE MEN 46.7% AND IN THE WOMEN IT IS 47.1%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and give a relevant overall comparison: women recorded higher activity in most age groups, while men led among 15–24-year-olds. Some figures are reported accurately, including 52.8% and 47.7% for the youngest group and 42.2% and 48.9% for ages 25–34. However, the overview is unclear, and the account omits the important peak for women at ages 45–54 (53.3%) and the male low at ages 35–44 (39.5%). The discussion of older groups is also incomplete: it gives the male figure for 45–54 but not the female figure, and describes the oldest group as equal despite the values being 46.7% and 47.1%. Select and compare the main features more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction and overview to age-group details, and the figures are generally presented in chart order. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression is weakened by repeated, unclear openings such as “the another number” and “the another older age information,” and the final paragraph jumps from ages 45–54 to the oldest group without covering the intervening categories. Linking expressions such as “additionally” do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate, logically grouped comparisons for the data, with clear transitions such as “By contrast” and “From ages 25–34 to 45–54.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “proportion,” “age groups,” “active,” and “decreased,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and many word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “engaged regular physical activity,” “very low in noumber were man,” and “yougner depophresis.” Several expressions appear to be attempts at describing age groups but do not communicate a clear meaning. Aim for accurate, familiar chart language rather than forcing complex phrases: for example, say that a percentage “was higher” or “fell,” and refer directly to “men aged 15–24.” Check spelling carefully, especially for key terms and repeated words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form longer sentences and uses basic comparison patterns, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure relationships between the figures. For example, “women are more active in than men” contains an unnecessary preposition, while “physical activity level were is more” combines incompatible verb forms and has faulty agreement. In “the number of the ages which is 25 to 34,” the sentence structure does not clearly identify the age group or its data. Most sentences rely on similar, loosely connected patterns, with limited accurate use of clauses. Build clear simple sentences first, then add controlled comparisons: “Among people aged 15–24, the male figure was 52.8%, compared with 47.7% for women.”

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