Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of Australian males and females engaging in regular physical activity across various age-groups in 2010.
Overall, it is clearly seen that women were more active in all age-group than men, except the youngest group. Male participation decreased at first, then increased, whereas the female rate generally increased before falling into oldest age-group.
In details of youngest age-group, men had the higest participation rate than women , at 52.8% and 47.7%, respectively. However, in the 25-34, the men rate fell to 42.2% and women increased to 48.9%. A similar pattern can be seen among age-group 35-44, where 52.5% females excercised regularly and only 39.5% of men.
Furthermore, women recorded the highest percentage of 53.3% among 45-54,while men stood at 43.1% in same age-group. Both male and female belongs to 55 to 64 ages were accounted as 45.1% and 53%, respectively. Finally, the figure became almost equal among people aged 65 and over, at 47.1% for women and 46.7% for men.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response selects the main comparisons and gives a clear overview: women had higher participation in every age group except the youngest, while male activity fell and then recovered and female activity rose before declining. The figures reported are accurate, including the near-equal rates among people aged 65 and over. This gives the reader a sound account of the chart’s key patterns. To make the overview more fully developed, highlight the extremes explicitly: men’s lowest rate was 39.5% at ages 35–44, while women’s peak was 53.3% at ages 45–54. The body covers all age groups, though some comparisons are presented as a sequence of figures rather than being synthesised into the most notable contrasts.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is arranged in a coherent four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to comparisons across the age groups. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “However,” “Furthermore,” and “Finally” help signal the progression, and the reader can follow the data without difficulty. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the age-by-age reporting makes the body read more like a list than a connected comparison. The phrase “A similar pattern” is also not fully precise, since the female rate rises while the male rate falls in that group. Grouping the middle age ranges together and using clearer comparative references would make cohesion more flexible and the progression more analytical.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
There is adequate vocabulary for describing the chart, including “proportion,” “participation rate,” “decreased,” “increased,” and “recorded.” These choices communicate the main trends, and the writer attempts some less common phrasing. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems limit precision: “In details of” is not idiomatic, “higest” and “excercised” are misspelled, and “the figure became almost equal” is an awkward way to describe the final comparison. “Age-group” is also used repeatedly where “age group” would be more natural. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language such as “Regarding,” “the rate was almost identical,” and “engaged in regular exercise”; careful proofreading would improve control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including the overview’s contrast with “except” and the clause beginning “where” in the discussion of ages 35–44. Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “women were more active in all age-group” has a number-agreement problem, and “Both male and female belongs” has incorrect agreement and an unclear construction. The sentence beginning “In details of youngest age-group” also lacks the articles and grammatical framing needed for a natural opening. Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, as in “45-54,while.” Practise accurate plural forms, subject–verb agreement, and article use, while retaining the range of sentence structures already attempted.
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