Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar graph illustrate the proportions of Australian male and female on basis of different age groups who did regular exercise in 2010. Units are measured in percentage.

Overall, it is clear seen that the percentage of women was higher in all age category, whereas men age groups accountant for the smallest share.In addition, In 15 to 24 category, male taken the greater place in physical acitivites than women.

In three age groups, 35 to 44 and 45 to 54, 55 to 64, female remained the same around 53%, whilst, male

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and give an overview, noting that women generally had higher participation and that men led in the youngest group. However, the overview is internally contradictory: women were not higher in every age group, as your next sentence correctly says men were ahead among 15–24-year-olds. The response also stops mid-comparison at “whilst, male,” and omits the key pattern that male participation fell to a low among 35–44-year-olds before rising, while female participation peaked around the middle age groups. The length requirement is not met: at 91 words, the response is well below 150, leaving the data only minimally reported. Complete the comparison and support the overview with accurate figures or trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence introduces the chart, followed by an overview and a sentence about age groups. The use of “Overall” and “In addition” also signals relationships between ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview first claims women were higher in every age category, then says men led in the youngest group. The final sentence is unfinished, so the comparison has no conclusion and the response lacks a complete reporting structure. Some punctuation and spacing problems, such as “share.In addition,” further interrupt the flow. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and detailed comparisons, and ensure each sentence is complete and consistent with the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “proportions,” “percentage,” “age groups,” and “physical activities,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which makes parts of the report hard to interpret. For example, “men age groups accountant for the smallest share” does not clearly express the intended comparison, and “male taken the greater place” is not an appropriate way to describe a higher percentage. There is also a spelling error in “acitivites.” Aim for precise, conventional language for describing data: use terms such as “participation rate,” “accounted for,” “was higher,” “peaked,” and “declined.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and a more complex sentence beginning “whereas,” showing some effort to vary sentence structure. However, errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make several statements unclear. For instance, “The bar graph illustrate” needs a singular verb, while “the percentage of women was higher in all age category” has a number-agreement problem. The sentence beginning “In three age groups” is also structurally incomplete and ends with “whilst, male,” leaving the comparison unfinished. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including the comma after “whilst” and the capitalised “In” after a comma. Practise complete, controlled comparison sentences before adding more complex clauses.

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