Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given pie chart illustrate that the percentages (%) of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activites for better fitness and stay active in 2010.

Overall, the percentage of men is the highest point at 52.8 (%) while, woman remaina similar at 47.7 (%) at the age of 15 to 24 years in 2010. However, the peecentage of men remain at the lowenst point is 39.5 (%) and the women remain top at 52.5 (%) at the age between 35 to 44 years in 2010.

Furthermore, at the of 65 plus both men and women is similar in doing regular physical activities and in the age of 45 to 54 the men is 43.1 (%) and women was 53.3 (%) while, there is a huge gap between in 35 to 44 years. In conclusion, the men was the highest approximately in all age groups and women reamin lowest to perform activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify some relevant figures, including the male peak of 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds and the male low of 39.5% among 35–44-year-olds. However, the overview is inaccurate: men are not highest in almost all age groups; women exceed men in every group except the youngest. The response also misreports the women’s figure for ages 35–44 as 52.5% in the overview, although that is correct, but does not clearly explain the broader pattern of women’s higher activity through most age groups. Calling the chart a pie chart is also incorrect. The response is 144 words, six below the required minimum, and the shortfall limits the detail and coverage of the summary. Focus on accurate overall trends and compare the series across the age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic structure, with an opening, an overview, and a further-details paragraph, so the reader can recognise an attempt to organise the summary. However, the progression is weak: the overview repeats individual figures rather than presenting the main pattern, and the final paragraph moves between age groups without a clear sequence. The concluding claim that men are highest and women lowest conflicts with the data and with some earlier details, making the line of argument difficult to follow. Linking words such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” are used, but they do not consistently show the relationship between ideas. Group the main trend first, then compare the age groups in a logical order, using concise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentages,” “age groups,” and “regular physical activities,” which makes the topic recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors reduce clarity: “pie chart” misidentifies the visual, “remain top” is unnatural, and “huge gap between in” is not an appropriate phrase. There are also noticeable spelling errors such as “activites,” “peecentage,” “lowenst,” and “reamin.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to understand. Use precise chart language such as “bar chart,” “proportion,” “higher than,” and “the widest difference,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few longer sentences, particularly with “while” and “However,” but most structures are simple or are joined in ways that create faulty sentences. Agreement and verb forms are often inaccurate: “the percentages … illustrate,” “woman remaina,” and “the men was” do not follow standard subject–verb patterns. Articles and prepositions are also problematic in phrases such as “at the of 65 plus” and “in the age of 45 to 54.” Punctuation around “while” is inconsistent, and some sentences contain several ideas without clear grammatical control. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them with clauses such as “whereas” or “while,” checking agreement and sentence boundaries.

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