Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chart illustrate the actuall segments for both male and female despite different age groups who often participate in physical activity in the year 2010.

In an overview the highest amount of male participents was in the age of 15 to 24 while,the lowest percentage was on 35 to 44. However, the percentage remains aproximately same at the age of 65 or above.

In the age of 35 to 44 the numbers of men who was willing to took apart in activity slightly fell down and reached estimatedly 39.5%. while,at the same time the figure of womens escalate and recorded 52.5%. After that in the age of 55 to 64 the percentage of gents rose gradually and recorded 39.5% to 45.1%. Moreover, the number of ladies remains almost same however a slightly downward. In the age group of 65 and above the value remains equall of both men and womens to 46.7%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify some relevant features, including the male peak among 15–24-year-olds and the male low among 35–44-year-olds, and you report the 39.5% and 52.5% figures for the latter group. However, the overview is incomplete: it does not clearly state the broad contrast that women were more active than men in every age group except 15–24. Some details are inaccurate or unclear. For example, men and women aged 65 and over were not equal (46.7% versus 47.1%), and the male figure for 55–64 rose from 43.1% in the previous group, not from 39.5% as your wording suggests. Covering the overall pattern and checking comparisons would make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to selected age-group details. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “After that” and “Moreover” attempt to connect information. However, progression is uneven: the overview is followed by a detailed comparison of one age group, then later groups, while the 15–24 and 25–34 figures are not developed. Some linking is mechanical or confusing, particularly “while, at the same time” and “Moreover” before a contrast that is not clearly expressed. Grouping the data into a clear overview and two comparison paragraphs, and using links that show contrast or change accurately, would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” “recorded,” and “rose,” so the topic is generally understandable. There is also an attempt to vary wording with “gents” and “ladies,” but these are too informal for an academic chart summary, and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “willing to took apart,” “escalate,” and “remains equall.” Spelling errors including “actuall,” “participents,” and “aproximately” are noticeable and sometimes make reading less smooth. Aim for a smaller set of precise, formal terms—such as “men,” “women,” “participation rate,” “increased,” and “declined”—and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a time clause beginning “In the age of 35 to 44.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the relationships between figures difficult to follow. Examples include “The bar chart illustrate,” “men who was,” and “willing to took”; the final sentence also incorrectly says the values were equal. Several sentences begin with a lower-case “while” after a full stop, and commas are misplaced around linking words. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past-tense reporting, and build comparisons with clear patterns such as “the rate for men rose, whereas the rate for women fell slightly.”

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