Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart shown the percentage of australian men and women in different age group who did regular physical activity in 2010.

I can see that older people of age group 65 and over men and women both are same in doing physical. Age group of 15 to 24 the 52.8% of mens was doing physicals and age of 25 to 34 there were 42.2% mens who do execise . the 39.5% men of age 35to44 were doing physical work this age group idoing less exercise and age of 45 to 54 there were 43.1% of mens doing physical and 55 and and 64 age second highest mens age doing exercise of 45.1%.

According to the men, womens are more great because the are doing more physical work. only age of 15 to 24 were doing less physical work only 47.7% women. 48.9% of the womens are doing exercise of the age 25 to 34 and the women of 35 to 44 age their were 52.5%. age group of the 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 are approximately same 53.3%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the chart’s subject and include several relevant figures, such as 52.8% for men aged 15–24 and 53.3% for women aged 45–54. However, the response does not give a clear, accurate overview of the main pattern. The claim that men and women aged 65 and over are “same” is incorrect: the figures are 46.7% and 47.1%. You also say women are more active overall without qualifying that men lead in the youngest group, and the final comparison omits the 47.1% figure for older women. To make the summary more complete, state the broad contrast—men are higher only among 15–24-year-olds, while women lead in the other groups—and report the main peaks and lows accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction and separate discussion of men and women, and the age groups provide some sequence. However, the information is difficult to follow because many figures are packed into long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “Age group of 15 to 24” moves through several male groups without clear sentence boundaries, while “According to the men” does not clearly signal the comparison that follows. Linking is limited and sometimes awkward, and the response lacks a distinct overview to guide the reader through the main trends. Use clear paragraphs for an overview and details, then compare corresponding age groups with straightforward connectors such as “whereas” and “by contrast.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on “doing physical,” “physical work,” and “doing exercise.” These phrases do not consistently describe the chart’s measure naturally, and expressions such as “women are more great” make the intended comparison unclear. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form problems, including “execise” and “mens,” which reduce precision. Some relevant terms are present, including “percentage,” “age group,” and “approximately,” so the response can communicate the general topic. To improve, use a small set of accurate chart-reporting expressions consistently, such as “engaged in regular physical activity,” “the proportion,” “higher than,” and “the lowest figure,” and check spelling and plural forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on simple statements and shows very limited control of sentence construction. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur repeatedly, as in “The bar chart shown” and “the 52.8% of mens was doing,” while phrases such as “the women of 35 to 44 age their were 52.5%” make the relationship between the group and figure hard to understand. Articles, plurals, and punctuation are also inconsistent, and several sentences run together, especially in the paragraph about men. These problems sometimes distort meaning, even though the reader can identify many of the figures. Practise forming complete comparison sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “Among men aged 15–24, 52.8% were active.”

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