Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This bar chart commpares the value of aurstralian men and women in different age grups who dd regular physical activity in 2010,

First of all, This shows the percantage of austaralin men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010. In age grup of 15 to 24, male was 52.8% and female was 47.7%, However, The set of age 25 to 34, men 42.2%, women 48.%, Moreaver, the category of males was 39.5% and 52.5% females.

And the other hand, We see in this bar chart the squad of 45 to 54 age is 43.1% male and female are 53.3% , Farthermore, the crowd of 55 to 64 are 45.1% male and 53% female. At the end of the chart the class of age 65 and over the 65 in this ages, male person are 46.1% and 47.1% are female person, at the end this group of this chart is completed,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report several relevant figures, including 52.8% for men and 47.7% for women aged 15–24, and the female figures for ages 45–54 and 55–64. However, the response mainly lists data and does not give a clear overview of the chart’s main patterns. For example, it does not explain that men were more active only in the youngest group, while women had higher rates in all the other age groups. Some figures are also inaccurate or incomplete: “48.%” is missing a digit for women aged 25–34, the 35–44 age group is not identified, and the male figure for those aged 65 and over is given as 46.1% rather than 46.7%. Select the key trends and report the comparisons accurately to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows the age groups in chart order, so a reader can recognise an attempt to organise the information. However, ideas are not arranged into a clear overview followed by well-grouped details, and the progression is difficult to follow. Phrases such as “First of all,” “And the other hand,” and “At the end” are used mechanically or inaccurately, while the repeated “the category,” “the crowd,” and “the class” do not clarify which age group is being discussed. Several details are joined in long, loosely punctuated sentences. Use a short overview, then group the figures by the main comparison, and use clear references such as “women aged 35–44” to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic set of chart-related terms, including “percentage,” “age,” “male,” and “female,” which allows the general subject to be recognised. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes straining understanding. For instance, “the value” is not a suitable description of the chart’s measure, and “the squad,” “the crowd,” and “the class” do not mean an age group in this context. Frequent spelling errors, including “commpares,” “aurstralian,” and “percantage,” also reduce clarity. Build a small, accurate vocabulary for describing proportions and comparisons, and check spelling carefully; precise terms are more useful here than varied but unsuitable synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to connect information in longer sentences, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent, sometimes making relationships between figures unclear. Examples include “male was 52.8% and female was 47.7%,” where plural groups need clearer grammatical framing, and “the 65 in this ages,” which has faulty number and sentence structure. Capitalisation after commas is inconsistent, and several clauses run together without reliable punctuation, as in the sentence beginning “And the other hand.” Use complete, simple comparison sentences first—for example, “Among 15–24-year-olds, the male figure was higher”—then add accurate figures. Check articles, plurals, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.