Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females doing reguar physical activity from different age groups in Australia in the year 2010.

Overall, it is clear that females reached the highest level in the middle age group.whereas, in adults men stood at their peaked . In contrast, in the old age group both males and females are at roughly same percentage.

looking first at data for males , adults 15 to 24 age group men stood at highest point at 52.8% which is higher than females at around 5% . However, this trend reversed in the 25 to 34 age group where females crossed men by 7 percent in the year 2010. this trend increased in further age group 35 to 44 , where women participants grew to 52.5% and males are at 39.5 percent.

When it comes to females participants , 45 to 54 age group females reached their peak at 53.3% , males areat 43.1 percent . A similar age was maintained in the 55 to 64 categor with female participant are remained same and men are at 45.1 %. Finally, the older age group 65 and over both genders remained relatively i

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important features, including the female peak of 53.3% at ages 45–54 and the male figure of 52.8% among 15–24-year-olds. You also note that women exceed men in several middle age groups. However, the overview is unclear: “in adults men stood at their peaked” does not accurately summarise the male pattern, whose lowest point is at 35–44 before rising, and the final comparison is unfinished. There is also a significant data error: women in the 15–24 group are at 47.7%, not “around 5%.” The 25–34 gap is about 6.7 percentage points, rather than exactly 7. To improve, give a clear overview of the contrasting trends and accurately report the main comparisons across all age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing the figures. Sequencing phrases such as “looking first,” “However,” and “Finally” help signal movement through the age groups. However, progression is weakened by unclear or incomplete statements, especially “in adults men stood at their peaked” and the cut-off ending, “both genders remained relatively i”. The paragraph beginning “When it comes to females participants” also revisits age groups already discussed, so the organisation feels repetitive rather than consistently comparative. Some linking is mechanical, and punctuation around transitions is inconsistent. Grouping the data by the main pattern—men’s early high and subsequent recovery versus women’s higher middle-age rates—would create a clearer line of development.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “proportion,” “age group,” “reached their peak,” and “percentage,” so the topic is generally clear. There are also attempts at varied phrasing, such as “this trend reversed” and “When it comes to.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “stood at their peaked,” “crossed men,” and “a similar age was maintained” do not express the comparisons naturally. Spelling errors such as “reguar” and “categor” are noticeable, while repeated use of “trend” and “participants” limits precision. Choose standard reporting language such as “the figure for men,” “women’s rate exceeded men’s,” and “remained broadly stable.” This would make the comparisons easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a subordinate clause in “where females crossed men by 7 percent” and a contrast introduced by “However.” Nevertheless, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “females reached the highest level … whereas, in adults men stood at their peaked,” “males are at 39.5 percent,” and “female participant are remained same.” These show problems with sentence construction, tense consistency, agreement and verb forms. Punctuation also needs attention: there are missing spaces after full stops and commas, and the overview contains an awkward full stop before “whereas.” Practise building clear comparison sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, for example, “The female figure peaked at 53.3%, while the male rate was 43.1%.”

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