Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the bar chart illustrates the information about percentage of australian male and female in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

overalll its clearly shows one side of the chart is percentage and other side age group of male and female.

firstly , the highest activity is female age group those is 15 tlo 24 group the highesr score is 52.8 %but in the male those are not more active in this age group thats is only 47.7 % . morever , after 20 male jump in higher rather than female . after every 5 year female are less active extand the male .

however, female are more active after thier 50 age but men are on the same number of percentage . 40 to 65 age men stays almost number of percentage but female are going down to up female on their 40 to 65 age group increase their number every year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and attempt to compare men and women, but the main features are not reported accurately enough. The opening comparison reverses the figures: 52.8% is for men aged 15–24, while 47.7% is for women, not the other way around. The claim that women become less active after every five years is also inaccurate; female participation rises to 53.3% among 45–54-year-olds before falling. There is no clear, accurate overview of the overall pattern, and several comparisons are vague or confusing. The response is also 145 words, below the required minimum of 150. Select the key trends and support them with correctly attributed figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: you introduce the chart, then use phrases such as “firstly,” “morever,” and “however” to signal comparisons. However, the response does not progress clearly from an overview to well-grouped details. The second paragraph mainly describes the chart’s axes rather than summarising its key patterns, and later comparisons shift between age groups without a clear sequence. References such as “those” and “thats” make it difficult to tell which sex or age group you mean. Organise the response into an introduction, a concise overview, and detail paragraphs that compare the age groups in order. Use linking words only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” “active,” and “increase,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear, such as “male jump in higher,” “same number of percentage,” and “going down to up.” Spelling errors, including “overlall,” “highesr,” and “thier,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise language used to describe data, such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “was higher than.” Check spelling and use “men” and “women” consistently when referring to people.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to form longer comparisons, but sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to follow. For example, “the highest activity is female age group those is 15 tlo 24 group” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “40 to 65 age men stays almost number of percentage” has problems with agreement and sentence construction. Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also inconsistently controlled, as in “female are more active” and “men stays.” Punctuation and spacing around commas and percentages need attention. Practise writing clear subject–verb sentences first, then combine related comparisons with accurate clauses, for example: “Women’s activity rose to a peak among those aged 45–54.”

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