Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believe that it is valuable to share information as much as it is possible for scientific research, business and the academic world. While others think that some information can not be shared on open access as it is too important or valuable. Which in my opinion is right as I believe that not every information should be accessable to everyone weather it is used to any specific purpose or not as it can be used wrong and create security concerns or data breach.

In the era of technology advancement It has become highly important to have limit on sharing information. as data breaching has become a fast moving concerns in recent years, which has raise a question on how it is being shared, used and saved. For example, personal information like house address, your income and educational background shared on a open survey can be use against you when that data breach and land to a wrong hand. Like kidnapping, threatening for money or robery at home.

Where is those who believe that it is no harm to share as much information as possible at any extend are unaware of the circumtances can occur because of that. There is no doubt that for scientific researches, business and academic world need data to examine for certain purposes but only letting authorise survey centers to recieve data with all consent is the only way out to save the data not to be misused.

In conclusion, It can be said that sharing limited information for specific purpose thorugh authorised centers is the better practice to share information rather than sharing all information shared freely. As this can cause many troubles and create risk from individual level to orginizational level.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is identifiable: you argue that information should be shared selectively, especially where privacy and security are at risk. You also acknowledge that research, business and education need data. However, the discussion of the opposing view is brief and does not explain why open sharing might benefit these fields; the claim that supporters are “unaware of the circumstances” is asserted rather than supported. Your examples focus almost entirely on personal data and possible crimes, so the response does not fully explore valuable scientific or commercial information. Develop both sides with specific reasons and examples, then explain more clearly how your position balances access with protection.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present concerns and acknowledge the need for data, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing helps the reader follow this basic progression. Some connections, however, are awkward or unclear. The opening “While others think…” is a fragment, and “Where is those who believe…” does not clearly connect the opposing view to your argument. The second body paragraph also shifts abruptly from the risks of data breaches to authorised survey centres. Use clearer topic sentences and linking phrases to show how each point develops, and make references such as “that data” and “those who believe” precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “data breach,” “security concerns,” “personal information” and “authorised survey centres,” which helps communicate the central issue. There is also some attempt at more formal phrasing, such as “specific purpose” and “organisational level.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear: “data breaching,” “a fast moving concerns,” “land to a wrong hand,” and “at any extend” are not natural expressions. Several spelling errors, including “accessable,” “circumtances” and “robery,” also weaken precision. Build a reliable set of collocations for privacy, research and information sharing, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “While others think…” and the clause beginning “as it can be used…,” and you use a range of sentence lengths. However, these attempts are often faulty, and sentence boundaries and basic forms are not consistently controlled. “While others think…” is an incomplete sentence, while “Which in my opinion is right” is also a fragment. In “data breaching has become a fast moving concerns… which has raise a question,” the agreement and verb form are incorrect. Articles and plurals also cause problems, as in “on a open survey” and “not every information.” Practise forming complete sentences and checking agreement, verb forms, articles and punctuation before adding complex clauses.

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