Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a contemporary debate about that a significant number of individuals think it will be beneficial to share as much data as possible in business, scientific research and the academic world, however others contend that there are some crucial and valuable information that should not be share easily. From my perspective, it is important to have knowledge about these fields that what kind of information is necessary regarding to these fields, and the other thing is that individuals should not share their valuable data without proper guidance. One of the primary reasons for sharing much information in the academic fields, scientific research and business is that citizens can get better outcomes. This is because when individuals share much data in the following fields they can easily get their desire results, their yields have less chances of errors and then easily gain their goals. For instance, in scientific research, when most of the students provide much data related to their research projects to their respective supervisors,then they quickly get their results. Consequently, it also important to share much importnat information related to their fields so they can achieve their goals easily and also turn their dreams into reailty. In contrast, many people believe they do not have to share their personal and valuable information to someone easily. The reason behind is that in today's fast paced world, individuals face many cybersecurity issues, and when citizens share their vital imformation to anyone, they will lose their data and that's a very dangerous things for them. For example, in Pakistan, a siginificant number of individuals are facing hacking concerns because they easily share their details when someone asked. As a result, it is very crucial to acquire much details about others whom people are sharing their information and they do not have to give their personal details. In conclusion, I firmly believe that citizens should have to get proper knowledge of any kind of fields like business, before providing their important details. After getting knowledge, they send their information to the relevant field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both perspectives and state a position, particularly in the introduction and conclusion: you support sharing when people understand what is appropriate and have guidance. The cybersecurity example from Pakistan is relevant to the concern about protecting valuable information. However, the response only partly develops the task. The case for sharing is explained mainly through students giving data to supervisors, which does not clearly show why openness benefits business or research more broadly. The opposing view focuses on personal details and hacking, rather than explaining why commercially or academically valuable information might need protection. Clarify your position on sharing research findings versus confidential data, and develop each side with a specific reason and example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “In contrast” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument, and the examples are placed alongside the relevant points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. In the first body paragraph, the claims about better outcomes, fewer errors, and achieving goals repeat similar ideas without showing how one leads to another. Some references, such as “the following fields” and “their,” are not always precise, and the conclusion introduces “proper knowledge” without clearly resolving the discussion. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, then explain and illustrate it in a more deliberate sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “cybersecurity issues,” “valuable information,” and “hacking concerns,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “share much information” and “achieve their goals.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “get their desire results,” “a very dangerous things,” and “acquire much details.” Spelling errors, including “importnat,” “reailty,” and “imformation,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise terms that distinguish open research findings from confidential or proprietary information, and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using structures such as “This is because…” and “when individuals share…,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to read. For example, “there are some crucial and valuable information” has a disagreement between the plural verb and uncountable noun, while “should not be share” uses an incorrect verb form. Other problems include “it also important” and the sentence beginning “The reason behind is that,” which lacks a clear grammatical construction. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, particularly around commas. Practise accurate clause construction, verb forms, and agreement before adding further complexity.

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