Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

few people agree that seience made the easyest way to disscuss the data related to business and education in all over the world on the other hand , some people disagree to share their persenal values.furthermore i strongly believed , its good think to connect with other people and dicusssion information acoding their taste .

respectly , in the moden world every person know data about thier related topic can get easily with the help of scientific gadget.however, peple can easily connet with other person due to social networks like whats app, instagram secialy mobile phones. for instance , a survey conducted by bbs they published modern invenshion made men life very easy they can not sufer to collect some piece of information about personal and business.hence , modern era good effect on latest generation .

secondly, some people arguee modern science made the way of information very easy and fast however, these method can destroyed the quality of motion ,special and secretly data can leaked with the help of scientific tools . to cite an example , in pakistan and india people blackmaling when they get the date about their personal family issues and trading dealing . thus, its very diffcult for the person to save their feelings in the technology world.

in conclude, althrough, marjority of indiviuals beleved to connect other therefore few people throught its not better . i firmily belived that , technology made men life very easy we can easily connect any corner in the world in one secound ,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear general preference for sharing information, especially in the opening and conclusion, and you recognise the opposing concern that private or valuable data can be exposed. The example of blackmail in Pakistan and India is relevant to the risks of unrestricted access. However, the discussion only partly addresses the specific contexts in the prompt: scientific research, business, and academia are not examined separately, and the first body paragraph focuses mainly on social networks and technology. The benefits of sharing are asserted rather than explained, while the risks are also only briefly developed. To strengthen the response, explain why open research or academic exchange benefits society, then balance this against concrete reasons businesses or researchers may need to protect confidential information.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and signposts such as “however,” “secondly,” and “in conclude” show an attempt to guide the reader. The opposing view is placed in its own paragraph, which helps distinguish the main points. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from access to data to social networks, a survey, and a broad claim about the modern era without clearly linking these points. Some connectors are inaccurate or mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the general preference rather than drawing together the two sides. Use a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “scientific,” “personal,” “business,” “secretly data,” and “blackmaling,” and you try to express ideas about access, privacy, and technology. However, the range is basic and several word choices or spellings make the meaning difficult to understand, such as “quality of motion,” “modern invenshion,” and “their taste.” Repetition of “easy,” “people,” and “information” also limits precision. Aim to use accurate topic-specific phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, distinguish “confidential information” from “personal information,” and use “share research findings” or “protect commercial data” to express the task’s central ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with contrast, for example, “however, these method can destroyed…” This shows an effort to connect clauses, but the range remains limited and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences hard to interpret. Examples include “every person know,” “these method can destroyed,” and “technology made men life,” where agreement, verb forms, and possessive structures are not controlled. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly in the opening and conclusion, where several ideas run together. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check subject–verb agreement, verb forms after modal verbs, articles, and sentence punctuation during revision.

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