Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many concerned citizen consider that it is a constitutional and universal responsibities of a person knowing information what is happening around the world regarding various issues. On the other hand, a few number of experts expresses that all information specially national security and sovereignty matters should not be disclosed to public.

In common sense, people are more interested in order to know recent events and latest updated datas from different sources including tv channels, newspaper, social platforms and other media. According to UN charter, every citizen has right to know about his rights relating to any issue. Most benefit of sharing knowledge is a blessing for human being otherwise our society will remain in the darkness. For example, Tomas Alva Edison invented the electricity which changed our life styles and made everything easier. If people would not receive information or the advantages of his discovery, then what would be happened to us?

Furthermore, sharing datas in different fields like science, technology, business and other sectors helps to make life closer, smother and faster. We can connect and get resources within second through internet.

In contrast, some specialized people suggest that it is duties of states to make controll over sharing datas freely and universally. Because there are some confidential documents which is linked to national integrity and interest. If these

state policies are leaked, state and citizen may face under threat or attack. For instance, Julian Assange , founder of Wikileaks revealed secret and valuable documents of USA and other nations which quistioned the functions of state organs and their privacy. Therefore, it is the obligation of countries to keep their information secured and secret.

Last but not least, my ovservation is knowing latest data is a fundemental rigth of every individual,but we must respect also state policy for the national interest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and state a position: information is a fundamental right, but state information should be protected when national interests are at stake. The examples of Edison’s invention and the WikiLeaks disclosures are relevant attempts to support these views. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The benefits of sharing are explained in broad terms, while the argument about confidential information would be stronger if you distinguished sensitive security material from research or business information that may also have commercial value. The conclusion repeats your position but does not fully resolve how to balance openness with protection. Develop each side with a more specific reason and example, and make your final judgement more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting openness, a contrasting paragraph about confidentiality, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the other hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In contrast” help readers follow the shift between views. However, some links feel mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. For example, the move from the general right to know to Edison’s invention needs a clearer explanation of how the example demonstrates the value of sharing research. “Last but not least” is also an awkward way to introduce the conclusion. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main point, then connect examples directly to that point and use referencing more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “national security,” “confidential documents,” “national integrity,” and “state policies,” which helps convey the main ideas. There are also some inaccurate or unnatural choices that make the writing less precise, such as “latest updated datas,” “make life closer, smother and faster,” and “fundemental rigth.” Spelling errors such as “ovservation,” “quistioned,” and “controll” are noticeable, while “a few number of experts” is an awkward phrase. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they limit fluency and precision. Focus on accurate collocations and spelling, and avoid using “data” as a plural count noun in this context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some attempts at complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If these state policies are leaked…” and “If people would not receive information…”. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in agreement, articles, and verb forms. For example, “Many concerned citizen consider” has a plural subject with a singular noun, while “a few number of experts expresses” has problems with both the noun phrase and verb agreement. In “every citizen has right,” an article is missing, and “what would be happened” uses an incorrect passive construction. Some sentences are also joined or punctuated awkwardly. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and conditional forms before adding more complexity.

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