Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many individuals think that it is fine to share as more points as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world while, some argue that many information is too important ar too valuable to be shared freely. I this essay I will discuss both point of views.

On the one hand, there many reasons why information is important to share in just some groups. The main reason is that when we share information or tell some thing important to that person who knows about that, it become beneficial to us and when we tell it to a person who has no idea about that topic so our information goes waste.For example, if you tell the information about cars to a person who has a car showroom it become a useful information to that person.

On the other hand, there are also several reasons that why information is important to share freely. The main reason is that if every person knows about everything they can make better decisions. For example, when you tell every thing to every person it is benefical when they go to buy some thing.

In conclusion, I think both points are important. But, every thing has a reason

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce the topic and include a basic example about sharing car-related information with someone who owns a showroom. However, the discussion does not clearly explain the two views in the question: the first paragraph argues that information should be shared selectively, rather than explaining why broad sharing can benefit research, business, or education; the second gives only a general claim about making better decisions. Your opinion is also unclear beyond saying “both points are important,” and the conclusion does not resolve the issue. The response is 192 words, so it is 58 words below the 250-word minimum; 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with relevant reasons and examples, then state a definite position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph shifts from selective sharing to an example without clearly connecting either to the task’s view about sharing as much as possible. Linking phrases such as “The main reason” are repeated, and the conclusion adds little beyond restating that both points matter. Build each paragraph around one clearly stated view, explain it, and then connect the example explicitly to that explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “information,” “scientific research,” “business,” and “academic world,” and the reader can generally identify the subject. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, especially the repeated use of “information,” “important,” and “every thing.” Several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “many information,” “a useful information,” and “benefical,” while “points of views” is not the natural expression. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Expand your range with precise terms for the two positions, such as “open access,” “confidential data,” or “commercial advantage,” and check spelling and countable/uncountable usage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer clauses, for example, “if every person knows about everything they can make better decisions.” This shows some ability to connect ideas, and the overall meaning is often recoverable. However, the range is limited, and errors recur in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “I this essay” and “there many reasons,” as well as “it become beneficial” and “it become a useful information.” The long sentence beginning “The main reason is that when we share…” is difficult to control and needs clearer clause boundaries. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and article use, and divide long sentences into shorter, complete units.

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