Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some individuals believes to share good information related research, business and academin world Unfortunately, Others think the information is too valuable to be shared freely without hesitation.

My opinion is we have to value there concerns and vibes when they are sharing there personal information to us. Fortunately, people might think like they should share everything to there family members, collegues, friends and relatives. However, some person may understand there values but some may not because of there mindset. Additionally, the individuals has keep secret before its get it done cause nowadays i heard like "keep it private until its permanent". Furthermore, the important information it has to be in safe hand but if related to company work they can tell and take opinion from them.

On other hand, Despite the humans are not interested to listen someones information and if there heard they will definately making a fun also the some peoples gonna think like if i told them he or she will make a fun of me and they will laugh at me. For a example, i was in 12th at that time i usually think to become a doctor at that time i was scared to impress my thought to someone and i kept silent beacuse of what peoples may think about me.

In the contrast, everyone has there own self-respect and self esteem so need to understand the individual is trying to share and feel free to listen and make assure to provide guidence and councelling.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a personal view that information should be treated carefully and that people should feel safe when sharing it. The example about being afraid to tell others you wanted to become a doctor also illustrates concern about sharing personal thoughts. However, the task asks you to discuss information-sharing in scientific research, business and academia, and the response focuses mainly on personal information, family and social reactions. The two views are therefore not adequately explained, and the business point—information can be shared to obtain colleagues’ opinions—is only briefly mentioned. To develop the response, explain the benefits of open research or academic exchange, then contrast these with reasons to protect valuable commercial or confidential information, and state your position directly in that context.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is divided into paragraphs, and some linking expressions, such as “However,” “Additionally” and “On other hand,” show an attempt to connect ideas. Nevertheless, the progression is difficult to follow: the opening introduces the topic, but the next paragraph shifts to personal information, and the later paragraphs move to fear of ridicule and self-respect without clearly developing the two views in the question. Several connectors are inaccurate or do not signal the relationship intended, including “Fortunately” and “In the contrast.” References such as “they” and “there” also make it unclear who or what is being discussed. Organise the essay around the two positions, use one main idea per paragraph, and make each example clearly support that paragraph’s point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to privacy and sharing, including “valuable,” “keep it private,” “self-respect” and “self esteem.” This gives you a basic means of expressing your concerns. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the intended meaning hard to interpret. For example, “vibes” does not clearly express the concerns people have, “safe hand” is not the natural phrase here, and “impress my thought” does not convey the idea of telling others about an ambition. Spelling errors such as “academin,” “collegues” and “guidence” also affect clarity. Build topic-specific vocabulary for research, confidentiality and commercial information, and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “However, some person may understand there values but some may not because of there mindset.” This shows an effort to express contrast and reasons. However, the range is limited, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur frequently, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “Some individuals believes,” “the individuals has keep secret,” and “they will definately making a fun.” Several sentences also run together or lack clear punctuation, particularly in the opening and the sentence beginning “On other hand.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and use shorter, complete sentences before adding subordinate clauses.

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