Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A few individuals think that it is good to give out as much data as possible in scientific research, businesses and educational institutes.Some beleive that a propotion of information is of much importance or too worth to be distributed willingly.In my opinion, i think that it is good to share information about science, business and academics because it gives people knowledge of various fields.

Firstly, it is good to give a lot of information in scientific research, businesses and academic world as it help persons have knowledge on various fields.Learning most things about not only acadmics but also businesses and science world help on e gain knowledge and skills.People who learn in schools will be able to know much about what career suits the, on businesses the will understand hwo to start from small amount of money into builing a large income generating company and lastly fo scientific research they will be able to know about the outside knowledge.For example a person who who did their studies and completed but also learnt about science and business will be knowledgeable on the different fields of study.This certain person can invest in a private ccompany or become what they dream to be according to their level of education and also discover something new to help in the society.

However, other people think some information is too important to be shared willingly because it can lead to competiots.When people learn about certain things they will want every other to know what they are capable of hence bringing about competitors.This therefore, wil enhance creativity and improment of ones lives.For instace, in our world today, people have learnt what technology is capable of so many teenagers this days try to come up with ideas with what they have learnt.This has led to many young adults competing about who is better than the other and also be famous.

In conclusion, tooo much information has l

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear preference for sharing information, and the response includes a paragraph for each view. However, the discussion only partially addresses the question: the reasons focus mainly on general knowledge, careers, and competition, rather than explaining why valuable information might need protection in research, business, or education. The example about teenagers competing through technology is relevant to competition, but it does not show why information should be kept private or how that view is justified. Your own opinion is present in the introduction, yet the conclusion is cut off and does not restate or develop it. To strengthen the response, explain both positions directly and support them with specific examples, such as commercial confidentiality or sharing research to improve public health.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph beginning “Firstly,” a contrasting paragraph beginning “However,” and an attempted conclusion. These markers help identify the two sides. However, ideas within paragraphs are not consistently arranged or connected, and several sentences run together without clear punctuation. The first body paragraph moves from education to business to science, then to a personal example, without developing a clear sequence. Linking phrases such as “This therefore” are used, but the relationship between the preceding idea and the result is not always clear. The conclusion ends abruptly, so the essay lacks a complete final stage. Organise each body paragraph around one main reason, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “scientific research,” “competitors,” “creativity,” and “technology,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. For example, “too worth to be distributed willingly” is not a natural way to express that information is valuable, and “enhance creativity and improvement of ones lives” is unclear. Spelling errors such as “beleive,” “propotion,” and “improment” also reduce accuracy. Aim to use precise terms for the two positions, such as “intellectual property,” “commercially sensitive information,” and “open access,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “because” and examples introduced with “For example.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “as it help persons,” while pronouns and sentence construction break down in “the will understand hwo to start” and “what career suits the.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and punctuation, including missing spaces after full stops and the unfinished final sentence, “In conclusion, tooo much information has l”. These errors frequently make parts of the response difficult to understand. Practise building complete sentences with one clear subject and verb, then check agreement, punctuation, and sentence endings.

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