Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, there are many information about business or science while this information is free for individuals. In my opinion, the lateral viewpoint tends to be more worth considering. In this essay, I will discuss my viewpoints on upcoming segments.

To begin with,. there are many reasons of this statement. Firstly, when the personal details are valid for everyone, then the protection of country is under the danger, because some other country, which are not friendly with our country, then they attack on it, because they may know everything about our country. Additionally, when the secrets of well developed company are valid for public, then these companies are affected with lose, because these companies are always use new techniques to grow up, while when their competitors know their private secrets or know their strategies of selling more items for more benefit, then no any company grow up easily. Hence, these are reasons of this statement.

However, there are many benefits of this statement. One significant point is that when individuals know everything about the company or their products then they easily buy any product from company, because they know the merits or demerits of the product. Additionally, when individuals may know the all scientific researchers then they use these researchers for personal use or grow their knowledge or help the scientists to grow or invent more inventions. Hence , these are benefits of this statement.

In conclusion, this statement have both merits or demerits. Moving forward, it is important to ensure personal details to ensure positive outcomes for individuals or society as a whole.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the discussion: you explain risks to national security and companies if sensitive information is shared, then mention consumer knowledge and the benefits of scientific research. However, the response only partially fulfils the task because your own position is not clearly established. The phrase “the lateral viewpoint tends to be more worth considering” is difficult to interpret, and the conclusion says the issue has both merits and demerits without stating which view you support. Several ideas also remain under-developed: for example, you mention that research can help people “grow their knowledge,” but do not give a specific example or explain how this benefit compares with the risks. State your opinion directly and support each main point with clearer explanation or an example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal the broad direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often repetitive and mechanical: both body paragraphs end with “Hence, these are…” summaries, while “Firstly” and “Additionally” introduce points without developing the links between them. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the shift from national security to company losses in the first body paragraph. Improve cohesion by grouping related ideas, explaining how each example supports the paragraph’s main point, and using clearer references instead of repeating “this statement.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “protection,” “competitors,” “strategies,” “scientific researchers,” and “merits or demerits,” so the reader can identify the general subject of each point. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear. For instance, “the lateral viewpoint” does not clearly identify either side of the debate, and “valid for everyone” appears to mean available to the public. Phrases such as “grow up” and “more benefit” are also imprecise in this context. Aim for more accurate language about access, confidentiality, commercial advantage, and research findings. Replacing repeated general phrases with precise topic vocabulary will make your arguments easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences using clauses introduced by “when,” “because,” and “while,” which shows an effort to express relationships between ideas. However, these complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “there are many information” has an agreement and countability problem, while “these companies are always use” combines incompatible verb forms. The sentence beginning “when the personal details are valid for everyone” also has unclear clause structure, and “this statement have” shows subject–verb disagreement. Work on accurate basic sentence patterns first, especially articles, singular and plural forms, and verb agreement; then build longer sentences with one clear main clause and carefully controlled supporting clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.