Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this globalized era some people reckon that it is good to share as much details as possible in empirical studies,business and the academic world.But others feel that some facts are too crucial to be shared.I will discuss my both views and opinion next paragraph.
First and for reason is if we share as much knowledge about research and business so people can understand more about it.Sharing information is good in today's world so humans can understand the structure of technolody.Moreover we all are living in globalized era without businesses and academic world are very hard to manage all kind things like pruduction,manufacturing,and ets.Because technology has made a great impact of today's society without this is like life without colours is like soup without salt.Due to rapid advancement in technology,the pace of life has increased.
Other peoples think that these are the details if kept as private becasue its matter of safety and confidiatality.For example a men who working for multinational bank and he knows everything abouts bank data and their process but he cant even share the data with others because its againt the law.The fast-pace development today is bringing comforts and luxuries in life,but it also has some undesirable effects.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 202 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you mention both views, the discussion is superficial and lacks the necessary depth for an academic essay. The conclusion is missing, and your own opinion is not clearly articulated or supported. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with specific examples and ensure you address all parts of the prompt, including a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supporting evidence, and a concluding summary of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay has a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. While you use some linking words like 'Moreover' and 'For example', the transitions between sentences are sometimes abrupt or illogical. The paragraphing is present, but the content within the paragraphs is underdeveloped. The lack of a clear conclusion further weakens the overall coherence. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'technolody', 'pruduction', 'confidiatality', and 'abouts'. You rely on basic vocabulary, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas effectively. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. Focus on proofreading your work to eliminate basic spelling errors and try to use synonyms to avoid repeating the same words throughout your response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'a men who working' should be 'a man who works'. Many sentences are simple or contain run-on structures that make the text difficult to follow. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which is necessary for higher band scores. To improve, practice using a mix of simple and complex sentences, and pay close attention to basic grammar rules like verb tense consistency and pluralization.
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