Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In the first senario, there are some peoples that believe that it is good to share information on multiply topics. The sharing of information can improve the knowlegde of peoples.There are three types of information in the scientific resreach, business and academic world that may help the peoples to gain the knowlegde of scientific research, business and academic information. In the scientific research, we discuss about the research of scientific that increase knowledge of peoples about resreaches. In the bussiness, the people get information about manage,run and how to make profit in bussiness. In the academic world, the knowlegde about books and grammer that make the people to understand english clearly, It can makes words puncatation easy and understable.
On the other hand, some people says that some information is important and valuable that can sharefad freely. If the information is important and valuable then why are you share it, It may effect the system that run on this information. Some information is very imformation for the system and it can cause the system failure and other damages.
For my point of view, If one company have marketing techniques that makes a big profit, the company share the information to peoples. If the information leak, it may cause the serious damage of company.
The share information of scientific research, business and academic world are good to share it but the important and valuable information is not to be sharable that cause the many serious damages.
The topic have different point-of-view of information sharing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument but lacks depth and clear development. While you mention the benefits of sharing information and the risks of leaking valuable data, the ideas are repetitive and lack specific, well-supported examples. The 'opinion' is stated but is not clearly integrated into the structure of the essay. The explanation of why information should be kept private is somewhat vague, relying on general statements rather than concrete illustrations. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides a detailed example to support your claims, rather than repeating the same points in different ways.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. Cohesive devices are used, but they are frequently mechanical or misused, such as 'In the first senario' and 'For my point of view'. The transition between the two viewpoints is abrupt, and the concluding paragraph does not effectively summarize the argument or provide a final synthesis. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'senario' (scenario), 'knowlegde' (knowledge), 'resreach' (research), and 'sharefad' (shared). You rely on basic vocabulary, and there is little attempt to use less common or academic collocations appropriate for an IELTS Task 2 essay. To reach a higher band, you should focus on expanding your vocabulary related to business and research, and pay closer attention to the correct spelling and usage of academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('some peoples that believe', 'It can makes'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors that make them difficult to parse, such as 'If the information is important and valuable then why are you share it'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and punctuation is often incorrect, particularly with comma usage. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a good starting point for improvement.
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