Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Research is the best way to improve people work as well as business. Many individual believe that provide all data to other is best way to increase individuals work, while other believe that some information is not shareable to others due to same privacy reason. In my opinion, I strongly believe that do not share all information to others, because when people provide their work regarding data to other then someone miss use it.
On the one hand, few people shared their all data to another individuals this is because, people think if they provide much data to other then someone give them perfect advice for their business or work. For instance, when the age around 20 years of people starts their business, then they share their all data to AI for improving their business stability. As a result, people gives their business private data to AI, which will be make same problems in future.
On the other hand, mostly individuals agree with do not share all information to other this is because, when some important data is published then people use it in wrong way. To exemplify, if any bank publish their all accounts password, then hackers hack over the bank and miss use it. Therefore, bank loss their all money and data. Moreover, when scientist published their research's data, then it is mill use by someone.
In conclusion, although, few believe to share all information to others to improve their research or business, mostly agree with do not published important data is safe.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For example, the argument regarding AI and bank passwords is quite simplistic and lacks the depth required for a higher band. The ideas are presented but not fully extended or supported with sophisticated reasoning. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively synthesize the main points discussed. To improve, you should focus on expanding your arguments with more detailed explanations and nuanced examples that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the complexities involved in information sharing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed. There is a lack of logical progression between sentences, making the argument feel fragmented. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'this is because, people think if they provide much data to other then someone give them perfect advice'. Improving the use of transition words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'data', 'work', and 'business'. There are several instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'mill use' instead of 'misused' and 'bank loss their all money' instead of 'banks lose all their money'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, you should work on using a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary and collocations. Focus on learning synonyms and more academic phrasing to avoid repeating the same words throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people gives their business'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in complex structures, such as 'when some important data is published then people use it in wrong way'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. Reducing the frequency of these errors is essential for achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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