Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Research is the best way to improve people's work as well as business. Many individuals believe that sharing all data to others is best way to increase individuals' work, while others believe that some information is not shareable to others due to privacy reasons. In my opinion, I strongly believe that not sharing all information to others, because when people provide their work regarding data to others then someone misuse it.

On the one hand, few people share their all data to other individuals this is because, people think if they provide much data to other, someone will give them perfect advice for their business or work. For instance, when the age is around 20 years of people starts their business, then they share their all data to AI for improving their business stability. As a result, people gives their business private data to AI, which will create same problems in future.

On the other hand, most individuals agree with not sharing all information to others this is because, when some important data is published then people use it in the wrong way. To exemplify, if any bank publishes its all accounts' password, then hackers hack over the bank and misuse it. Therefore, bank lose its all money and data. Moreover, when scientists publishes their research's data, then it is misused by someone.

In conclusion, although, few believe to share all information to others to improve their research or business, mostly agree with do not publish important data is safe. My stand is with not sharing all private information to others.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding AI and bank security are somewhat simplistic and lack depth. For instance, the example of 'bank passwords' is a bit extreme and does not fully capture the nuance of the debate regarding scientific or business data. While the position is consistent, the supporting points are underdeveloped, and the essay relies on repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, you should provide more sophisticated reasoning and explore the implications of information sharing in a more academic context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To exemplify'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. The flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'this is because, people think if they provide much data to other'. The progression of ideas is logical, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better referencing to avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is significant repetition of words like 'data', 'information', 'business', and 'others'. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'provide much data to other' or 'hackers hack over the bank'. The range of vocabulary is limited to basic, everyday terms, and there is little evidence of less common or idiomatic language. To improve, focus on using synonyms and more precise academic terminology related to research and intellectual property.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('people gives their business', 'bank lose its all money'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('when the age is around 20 years of people starts their business'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. The control over complex sentences is inconsistent, and punctuation is occasionally misused. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

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