Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people argue that it is beneficial to share as much data as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world, while others think a certain level of privacy is needed and it is not a good idea to share personal information freely. I believe that sharing information for scientific research, business, and the academic world should be emphasized because it helps in various medical research, exploring human behavior,
On the one hand, the study of various data and information that are shared for human welfare has led us to this contemporary time. The study of people's data has made modern medicine safer and more effective. Various multinational companies launch their products after studying people's preferences, which makes for the success of products. The government uses our data for planning different programs that are significant for citizens' growth and development. For instance, data are shared on our consensus are used for anticipating vaccine doses, estimating essential medicine, planning annual budgets, and so on.
On the other hand, people believe sharing data will interfere with our privacy. Many business companies will use this data and sell it to different online companies that can misuse it. For example, in automated marketing, our online data are shared with multinational companies, and things that we searched online appear everywhere in our feed. Furthermore, various surveys are performed for personal benefits, and that may cause problems in the near future. For example, an IVF company of Nepal was found guilty of misusing reproductive age data that were collected from Kaski village.
In conclusion, although privacy is one of the significant parameter for quality life, essential data should be share for development and welfare of mankind.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of data sharing in medicine and the risks of privacy breaches in marketing. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The introduction is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence, which impacts the clarity of the initial position. While the body paragraphs provide good examples, such as the IVF company in Nepal, the conclusion is a bit brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that all introductory ideas are fully articulated and that the conclusion provides a more comprehensive summary of the main points discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear structure: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used effectively to signal transitions between ideas. However, there are some minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the abrupt transition in the introduction and the slightly repetitive use of 'data' and 'information'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, though the mechanical nature of some transitions could be improved for better flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'contemporary time', 'multinational companies', and 'automated marketing'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'significant parameter for quality life' (should be 'significant parameter for a quality life') and 'essential data should be share' (should be 'shared'). The range is sufficient to communicate, but more sophisticated or precise vocabulary would be needed to reach a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist, such as 'data are shared on our consensus' (which is unclear) and 'essential data should be share'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the incomplete sentence in the introduction is a significant error. The majority of the content is understandable, but the frequency of minor grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and verb forms would be beneficial.
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