Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Information is considered as the most crucial asset in any sector. While some people believe that information should be completely shared without any hesitation and some argues that information could be a too precise and valuable thing to share. The following essay will discuss both the views and my opinion at the end.

To begin with, several scientific research contains enormous data which might be confidential and could be a treat for an individual and nation in some cases. In contrast, business hold data regarding financial performance, profitability and some insider information which is precise to share and could be threat for ultimate business and reputation of a particular firm. Such data can be easily used against the reputed firm or any nation subsequently.

Furthermore, it is irrefutable that right to information (ROI) is every individual's right. Information like business statistics could be beneficial for an investor eager to invest in a specific company in which information can be helpful for strengthening the public trust. In contrast, Information for instance research, survey, theories can be beneficial for student's academics and pupil holding interest in a particular subject. through which one can enhance there knowledge and feel encouraged to pursue such specialization.

To conclude with, information should be properly scrutinize before sharing to general public and some information which could be threat to and individual or a nation should be kept confidential for public security.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, the discussion is superficial and lacks depth. The position is stated in the introduction but is not consistently maintained or fully supported throughout the body paragraphs. The arguments regarding scientific research and business data are repetitive and lack specific, well-developed examples. To improve, you must expand your arguments with concrete illustrations and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'To begin with', 'In contrast', 'Furthermore'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that does not clearly link the ideas. For instance, the transition between the discussion of business data and the 'right to information' is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall flow of the argument feels disjointed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'treat' instead of 'threat', 'precise' used incorrectly to mean 'sensitive', and 'pupil' used in an academic context where 'students' or 'researchers' would be more appropriate. Additionally, there are minor errors in word formation, such as 'there knowledge' instead of 'their knowledge'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('several scientific research contains', 'business hold data') and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically subject-verb agreement and pluralisation.

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