Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Every scientific research, different businesses and educational sector requires data from different group of people for policy making, for the purposes of new scientific innovations or solely for business.There are two group of people, one believes that there personal information should not be disclosed for any purpose while others believe data plays essential part in every field for the betterment of human biengs.

Firstly, the group of people who does not like to share the information about their family, work, income has some valid points for doing so.They believe every information they share can harm them in many ways like financially or mentally.For example, One of my cousin took a part in survey about an online banoking application over the phone.Bank represantative asked him about his personal details like phone number, Natrional identitiy card details and name.That surey was about if my cousin using any online banking application, how was his experience and does he faces issues with online banking.In short, when he completed the survey he just check his bank account and he realised that a big amount from his bank is missing and someone scammed him over the phone.These type of scams are common thats why people shows less interest in sharing there information for anything or to anyone.

On the other hand, Scientific research requires valid data from different societies and group of people for medical and health purposes.Number of people voluntarilly give their information to trusted organisations,

For instance, In my neighbourhood, there was so many kids with disabilities and health department of our region decided to take a door to door survey.The people start sharing their information to government represantatives and thte survey successfully identified that this area needs Polio vaccines for every child.In recent years after that development the numbers got decreases.

I believe, data from people plays a cruicial part in different sectors as i mentioned above and without relevant data government or any other private entity can not come up with a solution or innovation.Additionally, One should not blindly trust someone and use shome common sense to avoid several scams.

To conclude, It is important for people to share information and data freely to trusted organisations and help them in dealing with issues of society.But also sharing your personal details to unauthorised indivisual or entity can harmfull.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the risks of data privacy versus the benefits of medical research. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The example regarding the banking scam is quite detailed, but the discussion on the benefits of data sharing could be more sophisticated. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and lacks a strong summary of the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that the arguments are balanced in depth and that the position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the shift between the banking example and the conclusion of that paragraph. Referencing is generally clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated to improve the overall flow and logical progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'innovations', 'unauthorised', and 'voluntarily'. However, there are several spelling errors ('biengs', 'banoking', 'represantative', 'surey', 'cruicial', 'harmfull') and some awkward collocations ('numbers got decreases'). The range is sufficient to communicate, but the frequent spelling mistakes and limited precision in word choice prevent a higher score. Focusing on accurate spelling and more precise academic collocations would significantly improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('every scientific research... requires', 'there personal information', 'people shows less interest') and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and commas. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, the student should focus on basic grammatical accuracy, specifically pluralization and subject-verb agreement, before attempting more complex structures.

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