Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate on whether important information in scientific research, business and academic world should be shared or not. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my opinion why it is crucial to make this information secret, and should not be exposed.

To begin with, supporters of conveying information believe that sharing the information mutually will help in the progress of nation. Some developing countries lack scientists and researchers, they seek help from neighbour countries for various nuclear projects and researches. Moreover, businessman and entrepreneurs from all over the world get innovative ideas from international companies to run their businesses. For instance, a well renowned billionaire own a YouTube channel where he guides everyone how he earn money by talking about different apps such as, Bitcoin, Upwork, and Freelance. Hence, countries can flourish significantly through gaining knowledge in various fields internationally.

Nevertheless, some records are too important to be shared, a view I find more convincing. Those information that can breach security such as, information about nuclear power plants, red area , and defence system should be kept secret. If any of these data are leaked, nation have to face consequences such as attack by their enemies and spying on them. These evidence should be kept save and not everyone has access to it. For example, workers in nuclear power plants are not allowed to use mobile and tell location to everyone. Even they themselves do not know the location where they are working. If anyone try to breach the information, they will be sentenced to death. Therefore, keeping the information safe is necessary for the protection of the state.

In conclusion, although sharing scientific knowledge and business related idea helps in the progress of the nation, I believe some information are too crucial to be shared otherwise country’s privacy would be exposed and they have to face various security risks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the task prompt by exploring both sides of the argument regarding the sharing of information in scientific research, business, and academia. However, the student's stance against sharing certain information lacks depth and supporting examples. The conclusion summarizes the discussion but does not reinforce the argument with clear evidence. More relevant examples or detailed explanations could enhance the argument’s strength and coherence, particularly in support of the view that some information should remain undisclosed. Overall, the Task Achievement is moderately successful but could be improved with clearer reasoning and examples supporting the opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The structure of the essay follows a logical format, separating the views into distinct paragraphs. However, there are some organizational issues—such as unclear transitions—that hinder smooth flow. Phrases like "to begin with" and "nevertheless" are used appropriately, but linking phrases could be integrated more effectively to clarify how ideas connect. The arguments could be better articulated with signposting language to guide the reader through each point. Overall, while the essay is coherent, it could benefit from improved cohesion through clear linking between ideas and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "scientific research," "innovative ideas," and "nuclear power plants." However, certain word choices are either repetitive or informal, such as "well renowned" and "businessman." Additionally, there are errors in phrases like "the academic world" should read as "the academic realm." While meaning is generally clear, using more precise and formal language would elevate the overall academic tone. The lexical resource needs enhancement to better fit an academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay exhibits a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences. However, there are noticeable errors such as "a view I find more convincing" which lacks clarity and should be improved for coherence. Another issue is the incorrect use of articles, e.g., "the progress of nation" should be "the progress of a nation.” There are also instances of subject-verb agreement issues in phrases like "those information that" which should be "that information." Improving grammatical accuracy and sentence variety would help in achieving a higher band score.

Overall feedback

Your essay presents relevant arguments regarding both perspectives on information sharing, but deeper exploration and stronger examples are needed to enhance your opinion's clarity. Focus on developing your stance with more detailed evidence that reinforces your viewpoint. Improving your use of cohesive devices and signposting language will help the flow of your essay. Additionally, please be mindful of vocabulary precision and grammatical accuracy to avoid confusion. Targeting these areas will improve your overall coherence and clarity in future essays.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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