Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
All organization and academic are growing sectors in today's world. Some believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and education world. I contend my view some data is too important or too valuable to be shared easily.
Sharing information in scientific research, business and in education world is more important. But its unsafe too as the competitors may utilize the ideas and inputs to update his own business. Example a diamond selling on street will not be considered as original one, even it is tested and guaranteed by lab because of the place in such case information has to be shared. Same diamond placed in reputed organization will be easily trusted. Same with scientific research and education system if their is any kind of need then it can be shared if not make it confidential.
On the other hand, some data is too important to share freely. Like University fee and bills and closing few business deals. And much importantly scientific research should not share it, because some data may have patent rights. In organization like hospital, most of the patient information kept confidential, only doctors can access patient history apart from doctors other paramedical team can not access. Academic information can check by receptionist like date of birth, parents details and fee enrollment policy.
To conclude, some people believe that it is good to share as much data as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. I contend argue some information is too important to share access freely in any sector it again depends on data and person if important better to hide such data, if not it can be shared.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited. The examples provided, such as the diamond analogy, are somewhat confusing and do not clearly illustrate the point about information sharing. The discussion on confidentiality in hospitals and universities is relevant but remains superficial. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations and clearer examples to support your arguments, ensuring that the link between your examples and the prompt is explicit and logical.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'On the other hand' and 'To conclude', the connection between sentences is frequently weak. For example, the transition between the diamond example and the conclusion about scientific research is abrupt. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There is a reliance on basic terms like 'good', 'important', and 'data'. Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'I contend my view' and 'academic information can check by receptionist'. There are also minor errors in collocation and word form. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'intellectual property', 'transparency', 'proprietary information', and 'confidentiality', while ensuring they are used in the correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'academic information can check'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'I contend argue'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction, correct verb tenses, and proofreading for small errors like missing prepositions would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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