Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's rapidly changing, certain individuals consider that a person can share data about him for different purposes like scientific research or business. While some think that it can harmful for them to share that kind of valuable information. I will essay, I will discuss both views and I will share my opinion too.
On one side, some purposes required information about different people to work properly because like schools acquire information regarding children for admissions or some trails center need data for health care purpose so it is crucial to continue there process. In addition, if a person become a employee of a company ; for their legal work to make us a worker of their business they need data of that person. From my perspective, I assumed that we can share our personal information to these institutes so can work properly because sometime it is vital.
On the other hand, critics that are against of sharing value able data to anyone believe that if they share their significant information to others they can face serious consequences. For instance, nowadays; a lot of scammer are out there so, they always want to robe public. Therefore, after getting someone's personal information they make scam calls and provide them wrong information of a award and ask them for money.
In conclusion, although from my point of view, it is crucial to grant personal data to some people or institutes so we can't say no to them but we must be careful about giving data to everyone.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The arguments regarding 'scientific research' and 'business' mentioned in the prompt are only touched upon in a very general way, focusing more on personal data privacy rather than the broader implications of open-source research or corporate intellectual property. The position is clear, but the supporting examples, such as 'scammer are out there', are simplistic and lack the depth required for a higher band score. To improve, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of these issues with more sophisticated reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'In addition, if a person become a employee' shows a lack of smooth transition. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression between sentences is occasionally disjointed. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety and precision to move beyond a Band 5.5 level. Using a wider range of linking words beyond 'In addition' and 'On the other hand' would be beneficial.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'trails center' (likely meaning 'trial centers'), 'robe public' (meaning 'rob the public'), and 'value able' (should be 'valuable'). These errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to communicate basic ideas, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form and context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('a person become'), article usage ('a employee'), and punctuation errors, particularly with semicolons and commas. Some sentences are awkward, such as 'In today's rapidly changing, certain individuals consider...', which is grammatically incomplete. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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